


Sober

by secretflame



Series: Sober Universe [1]
Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:44:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22311157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretflame/pseuds/secretflame
Summary: "I must have been drunk the first time that the thoughts entered my head, because there is no way that I would have thought them sober."
Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West
Series: Sober Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710430
Comments: 59
Kudos: 326





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published elsewhere, but I figured it was time to move to AO3! Some things have been edited, but the core of the story remains the same.

I must have been drunk the first time that the thoughts entered my head, because there is no way that I would have thought them sober. And just like an annoying commercial jingle that you’ve only heard one time but already know all the words to, when a thought so outrageous pops into your head even _once,_ it stays in your head for a while, right?

It's not like anything has changed. She still isn't my friend. Hell, we’re barely even acquaintances. We're more like the antagonists of each other’s movie, constantly trying to outdo the other at every step without a care for anything or anyone that happens to get in our way. She would deny that, of course, but I know better. I see the look in her eyes when she's up there performing in a role that I should have gotten, or when she’s singing a song that I belonged singing. She _loves_ the competition. And so, I give it to her.

For fuck’s sake, the only reason I even care about her at all is because she gives me a challenge. She makes me work harder, even though I hate her for it. But at the end of the day, she’s _nothing_ to me.

So why the fuck can't I get her out of my head?

* * *

It all began after Beck and I broke up. Again.

* * *

**_Before_ **

I pushed my way through the doors of Hollywood Arts, knocking a few freshmen out of my way when they moved too slowly for my liking. One started to object as he was pushed aside, but one look from me and he shrunk back, terrified. I smirked once he was out of view, mentally clapping myself on my back for being able to frighten underclassmen without even saying a word.

That smirk was washed away when I saw who was leaning against my locker door.

She was touching one of the scissors glued to the metal, her eyes focused on the blades. She hadn't seen me come in.

"You have three seconds to remove your hand from that before I cut it off, Vega." I snapped, walking up to her. "One." Her eyes grew wide. "Two." Her hand flew off the scissors. I rolled my eyes and pushed her aside as I started to twirl the combination lock. "Smart choice." The lock clicked, and I opened the door, grabbing my physics textbook off the top shelf. "Now, what the hell do you want?"

"Have you seen Beck?" she asked. I looked over at her for a moment, then turned my attention back to my locker, grabbing another textbook at random and shoving it in my bag.

"No." I stepped back, slamming the locker door shut. I began to walk away, eager to get away from Vega and the unreadable look in her eyes. But of course, she followed me.

"Well, I need to talk to him, so if you could…"

I stopped dead in my tracks, whirling around so I could face her. "Vega, I don't have any plans to talk to Beck, so you can go find him yourself and leave me the hell alone."

She stared at me, arms crossed. "You know, just because you guys broke up doesn't mean that you have to avoid him."

I gripped my textbook harder, fingernails making indents in the cover. "I'm not avoiding him, I just…" I stopped, shaking my head. "Christ, why the hell am I explaining myself to you?” I turned around, walking away again.

This time, I wasn't followed.

* * *

Sikowitz's class. The only class that I actually semi-liked, much less tolerated. Sure, I'm still not exactly sure what we are supposed to be learning, since his lessons tend to range from normal topics such as method acting all the way to things like coconut husbandry, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that it’s usually at least relatively interesting.

Incidentally, it was also the only class that I had with Vega and Beck. And it was because of that small detail that, for the first time in my life, I dreaded going to Sikowitz's.

I wasn't dreading it because of Vega. God, no. I could deal with her like I did every day. No, the problem was that I definitely didn’t want to see Beck because I knew that the second he saw me, he would beg for me to take him back, just like always. And I would resist for a bit but eventually relent and get back together with him. Just like always. That's just the way things worked.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t getting a bit tired of the cycle, though.

I forced myself to stop thinking as I walked into Sikowitz's room. A blast of white noise hit me as I walked through the door; a storm of voices that I couldn't focus on.

Everyone was talking to everyone else, and maybe it was just me, but it sounded like the conversation was utterly meaningless. I found my seat, glaring at those who turned to look at me as I sat down.

I swung my bag off of my shoulder and placed it on the seat next to me. I glanced around, taking in the mayhem.

To my left, Robbie was talking to Cat, his hand shoved up the ass of that damned puppet. I couldn't tell which one was talking right then, the boy or the doll, but it didn't matter. Both tended to just spout bullshit. Cat was laughing though, so whoever was talking was saying something that she, at least, found funny. Not that that was a good indication of actual humor though because let’s be real, Cat tends to find everything funny.

To my right, Tori and Andre were bent over a notebook that Andre was furiously scribbling in. Vega's head was bent close to his, talking into his ear, and he nodded periodically, his pencil going faster every time he did.

And directly in front of me sat Beck who of course was staring right at me with an expectant look in his eyes.

"Good afternoon,” he said.

I ignored him, turning my attention to my bag, pretending to rummage around in it for a pencil. I could feel his eyes staring at me, but I refused to acknowledge him. After a moment, I heard him sigh and shift around in his seat. I glanced up to find that he had turned back around, facing the stage.

The door next to the stage burst open, slamming against the wall. The crash made everyone shut up and look towards the doorway where our fashionably late teacher stood.

"Everyone up!" Sikowitz yelled, waving his arms up and down wildly. We groaned, but complied, rising to our feet.

"Now, everyone on this side of the room…” he gestured wildly at my side of the room, “will pick a name out of this hat!" He walked over to the stage, pulling a top hat out from behind the curtain. "Whoever you pick shall be your partner for our next project!"

He made his way around our side of the room, eventually finding his way over to where Beck and I sat. I chose first, groaning as I opened up the slip of paper in my hand.

_Sinjin VanCleef._

I gritted my teeth, looking up at Beck, who was in the middle of picking his own slip of paper. I waited for Sikowitz to walk away before speaking. "Switch with me."

Beck glanced up at me, his paper held between his index and middle fingers. "What?"

"You heard me. Switch with me."

His eyebrows rose. "Why should I?"

I glared at him. "Because, I will end up murdering you if you don't." I held out my slip. "Switch." I hesitated a moment. "Please?"

He started to reach out for my slip, then brought his hand back. "Wait….first things first. You gotta promise to come over tonight."

"Beck…." I growled. He rolled his eyes.

"Not for that. I just want to talk things over." He held out his slip, waving it in front of my face. "Deal?"

I took another glance at the name in my hand, then grabbed his slip, shoving mine into his hand. "Deal."

He grinned, turning away. "Cool. See you at seven."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down so as to not smack the smug grin off of his face. I was interrupted, however, by Sikowitz, who had found his way back to the stage, the top hat now firmly placed on his head.

"Okay! Now, find your partner, and stand with them!"

It dawned on me that I hadn't even looked at whose name was on the slip Beck had given me. I unfolded it and groaned again.

_Tori Vega._

Figures.

Everyone started to move around, joining their partners. Beck found Sinjin, whose face lit up when he saw who his partner was. Creep.

I saw Tori look around, wondering who her partner was. My hand closed around the paper slip in my hand.

Her eyes met mine, and I could tell that she knew that it was me. The flash of fear in her gaze and the immediate frown that formed on her lips confirmed it. I couldn't help but smirk as I looked away and picked my bag up off the chair before walking over to where she stood.

I threw my bag down on the chair next to the one that Tori had been occupying, then looked at her, frowning. "Guess I'm stuck with you then, Vega."

"Gee, you don't have to sound so enthused about it," she replied, sarcasm practically dripping from her words.

"Trust me. I'm not." I looked up to where Sikowitz stood. "So, what are we doing now?" I shouted at him, eager to get moving along.

He looked at me, shaking his head with a smile. "Ah, Jade. Always so pleasant. Like sour coconut milk in the moonlight." He didn't wait for our reactions before continuing. "You will all be creating a demonstration of your talents. Whether that means you write a play, or a song, or even a mime act, I don't care! Just show me something that you can do!" He clapped his hands and sat down on the stage, grabbing his coconut. "Now be gone! Go home!"

"Uhm….sir?" Andre began, obviously confused. "It's only…"

"Go!" Sikowitz yelled, waving us off. We all sort of glanced at each other and shrugged before walking out of the room.

* * *

"Jade."

I walked faster, trying to get away from the trailing annoyance.

"Jade, we have to figure out what we're doing." Tori walked faster, stepping in front of me, stopping dead. I was forced to stop, stumbling a bit in order to not run into her.

"Get out of my way, Vega."

She shook her head, stepping to the left in order to block me as I tried to go around her. "No. We have to work on this and figure out when we can meet up to get it done."

"Are you busy tonight?" I asked after glaring at her for a moment, trying to keep myself from pushing her aside. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. We did need to work on it and so I was going to have to put up with her and her bullshit.

"No, but…"

"Good." I pushed past her, making my way towards the exit. "I'll be over around eight."

If she replied, I didn't know. I was already gone.

* * *

Beck had told me that he just wanted to talk, and that much was true.

He was such a smooth talker, with plenty of apologies and sweet nothings, and when he asked to get back together, I immediately said yes. It wasn't even a question, really. He knew my answer before I arrived, just like he always did, but he offered anyway, just like he always did, giving me a moment to respond before leaning in for a kiss.

One thing led to another, and I found myself lying beneath him, crying out in pleasure. Then it was over, and we lay there, panting, arms wrapped around each other.

I'm not sure how long it was until I actually checked the clock, but when I finally did, I discovered that I was running way behind. "Fuck." I rolled over, out of his grasp. He sat up, propping himself up on his elbow, confusion on his face.

"What’s up?”

I stood, searching for my clothes. "I was supposed to meet Vega at eight to work on Sikowitz's project."

He watched as I pulled my clothes back on, waiting until I was buttoning my jeans before speaking again. "You could always call and tell her you can't make it…"

I shook my head, tugging my shirt down over my chest. "Can't. She'll never let me go until I make an effort to help with this thing. Better now than later." I walked over to the door, hand gripping the handle. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure." He lay back down, his hands clasped behind his head. "Night, babe."

I opened the door. "Later." 

* * *

I had only just rung the doorbell when Tori opened the door. She must have been sitting close by, waiting for me, perhaps.

"Eager, much?" I asked, stepping inside the Vega household.

"You're late." She replied, crossing her arms, jaw set. "You said you'd be here at eight…where were you?"

"It’s only eight thirty. Be glad I showed up at all." I made sure to dodge her question, moving onto something else before she could think too hard. I looked around, smelling an aroma of garlic and tomato. I spotted a pot sitting on the stove, steam slowly rising from it. "That smells good."

"It better smell good," she grumbled, leading me into the kitchen, motioning for me to set my bag on the table. "I spent all night making it."

"You cooked for me? I'm touched, Vega." I pulled out a chair, sitting down.

She leaned against the counter, looking at me for a moment. "I didn't cook for you, I cooked for me. You just happened to be coming over, so I made extra." She turned, grabbing plates off the marble behind her, then walked over to pot. "You do eat spaghetti, right?"

"Of course. So, where's the rest of the Vega family?"

Tori started scooping spaghetti onto the plates. "Mom is visiting her sister. Dad's at work, and Trina…" she paused, turning to face me, the plates piled high with steaming pasta. "You know, I don't actually know where Trina is."

"Do you really care?"

She walked over, setting a plate in front of me. "Not at all."

"At least you're truthful." I picked up the fork that lay next to the plate, twirling a noodle around it idly. "So, what exactly do you want to do for this stupid assignment?"

Tori shrugged, sitting in a seat at the other end of the table, directly across from me. "I don't know. I want to focus on acting, though…maybe a play?"

"No offense, Vega, but you're a better singer than you are an actress." I remarked, bringing the fork up to my mouth. "Are you sure that a play is a good choice?"

"Do you have something else in mind?" she asked, a touch of bitterness in her tone. "Because you're a great actress, so I figured that a play would be what you wanted to do, and…"

My eyebrows rose at the unexpected compliment. "If I agree to a play, will you shut up?"

Tori stared at me. "No, because then I don’t know if you’re actually happy with that choice.”

I took another bite of spaghetti, rolling my eyes. "And just why are you so concerned about my happiness?"

"Because I know you, and if you're not happy, then you won't stop complaining until you get your way and excuse me if I don't feel like dealing with that."

I leaned back in my chair, eyebrow cocked in surprise. "Did you actually just say something ballsy to me?" I watched as her face went red. She looked like she was about to either apologize or start stammering, so I raised my hand and shook my head. "I’m fine with doing a play."

She looked at me, the surprise evident in her expression. "What?"

"I said, we'll do a play." I cocked my head to the right slightly, biting my fork. "Unless you don't want to…"

"No!" she exclaimed, unable to hide her excitement. "No, I want to!"

"Good." I looked back down at my food. "Now all we have to do is figure out the script and the logistical details. But, we can do that after we finish eating."

Tori nodded and took a bite, her eyes never once glancing down at her food. "So…"

"Is there something else that you want, Vega? You haven't stopped staring at me since I arrived."

A vibrant blush spread across her cheeks. "No…you just…your hair looks really weird."

"My…hair?" I reached up, fingers tangling in the strands. Realization dawned on me as I realized just how tangled and wild my hair felt, and apparently, looked. "Oh, uh…"

"Just _why_ were you late, again?" she asked, biting her lip to hide her smile. I glared at her, embarrassment flooding through my body.

"None of your business, Vega." I set my fork down, pushing my chair back. "Thanks for the food." I stood and grabbed my bag off the table, swinging it onto my shoulder.

"Where are you going?" All of a sudden, Tori was at my side, her hand gripping my elbow. I gritted my teeth, trying to pull myself out of her grasp.

"Let me go!"

"Why are you leaving?" she loosened her grip, but didn't let go completely.

"Because I want to." I wrenched myself out of her grasp and started to walk away. She pounced, grabbing my wrist. I could feel her fingernails through my jacket.

"But we have to work on this! Come on Jade, I'm sorry for whatever I said, just please don't leave!

I paused, uncertain. I _was_ being pretty stupid. It was just a joke, and honestly, it was _Vega_. She's innocent as all fuck. There's no way that she would have meant it the way I took it.

"Okay." I turned around, setting my bag back down on the counter. "I'll stay. But let's just work, alright? I don't feel like staying here longer than I need to."

A smile spread across Tori's face, and if I didn't know better, I would have said that she was actually quite pleased with herself.


	2. Chapter 2

I have gone to school every day in one of two ways. Either I drive myself there, walk in alone, and go to class alone, or I pick up Beck, walk in with Beck, and go to class with Beck.

I guess that's why no one even bothered to look surprised when we came into the school, hands clasped between us. In a way, that just made me angry. We had broken up; people should have been commenting on how we were together again, or at least, they should have tried to feign _some_ sort of interest. But, they didn't, just like I knew they wouldn't.

Beck's hand was warm in mine, the rough skin of his palm rubbing against my skin. I always liked the feel of his hands against mine. He didn't have the soft, feminine hands that so many of the guys at Hollywood Arts seemed to have; no, his were the hands of someone who worked hard, someone who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty if it meant getting the job done.

The calming presence of my boyfriend’s hand in mine did nothing to keep my irritation from growing when I noticed that Tori was waiting by my locker again for the second day in a row.

"What do you want, Vega?" I asked, a hard edge in my voice. I felt Beck's hand grip mine a bit harder, warning me, telling me to calm down.

Tori's eyes glanced down at our interlocked hands, then back up at my face. "Just wanted to know if you're coming over again today. We have to get our play done, and I'd like some help with it."

I pulled my hand out of Beck's and started to twist the dial on my locker. "We'll see."

"Come on, Jade, you've got to give me an actual answer!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned my head to see Beck smiling at me. He leaned down, breath tickling my ear.

"I'm going to go," he whispered. "See you later."

He leaned in for a quick peck against my lips, attempting to pull away after a moment but I fisted my hand in his shirt and kept him pressed against me for longer than necessary, relishing in the uncomfortable look that formed on Vega’s face. Satisfied, I pulled away, waving at him as he rolled his eyes and turned, walking away from us. I watched him go, waiting a few long moments before turning my attention back to the irate Vega.

"I'll be at your house at seven." I grabbed a textbook out of my locker and shoved it in my bag before slamming the locker door shut. "I'll bring dinner."

She looked at me for a moment, her gaze steady. "Should I bother asking if I get a say in what we’re eating?"

I just looked at her and laughed before turning and walking away.

* * *

By the time I arrived at the Vega house, it was 7:30 and I had already received no less than three angry text messages from Tori. I hadn’t bothered opening them. Instead, I grabbed the bags of food off of my passenger seat and made my way to her front door. The Vega’s had a doorbell, but I chose to slam the heel of my palm against the door a few times rather than ringing it.

"Coming!" came a call from within the house. I rolled my eyes, continuing to pound on the door until it opened, the bewildered and irritated face of Tori Vega glaring at me.

"You do realize that we have a…" she began, before shaking her head and turning around. I followed her inside, kicking the front door shut behind me. "Never mind. Did you bring dinner?"

I held up the plastic bags in my hand, waiting for her to turn around. She eventually did, eyes widening when she saw the logo on the sides.

"Nozu? Wait, Nozu does take out now?" she asked, beginning to walk towards her stairs. I followed, letting her lead me upstairs to her room.

"Not usually." I set the bags down on the floor before turning around to pull her door shut behind us. "But they make an exception for me."

"But Mrs. Lee hates you." Tori sat down on the floor in front of her bed, throwing down a pillow next to her, motioning for me to sit. I did, folding my legs beneath me crisscross style.

I opened the bags, setting a container of noodles and chicken in front of her. "Yeah, she does. But I have my ways."

"But…"

"Vega, just shut up and eat your lo mein."

She glanced over at me, a hurt look in her eyes. I ignored it and opened up my own takeout container. I grabbed chopsticks from the bag, holding out a pair to her. She took it, finally looking away from me and back to the food.

The only thing that was heard for the next few minutes was the sound of chewing, intermixed with the occasional slurp of a noodle. I relished in the relative silence, taking the time to glance around her room. I had been in it before, of course, but never while she was there with me.

It took those few moments of silence to drive Tori insane. "Okay. I'm not sure how you want to do this play. Are we going with the husband and wife idea, or…?"

"No." I swallowed, absently wiping my mouth with my arm. "We've already done that, remember? I don't feel like being Nancy again."

"Yeah, well, being Walter was no fun either,” she grumbled, taking another bite of her food. "So, if we're not resurrecting the Swains, what _are_ we going to do?"

"Why are you asking me? Do you expect me to come up with everything?"

She shot me a look. "You've barely come up with anything at all."

"Yeah, well, neither have you." I set my now-empty container of lo mein aside before reaching inside the bags and pulling out two fortune cookies. I tossed one at her, grinning as it bounced off her chest, surprise lighting up her face.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, one hand reaching for the cookie, the other gingerly pressing against her sternum. "That wasn't very nice!"

"Gee, it’s like you don’t know me at all, Vega." I rolled my eyes, tearing the plastic off of the fortune cookie. "Now come on, open up your cookie."

I discarded the plastic, tossing it onto the floor. I saw Tori glance over at it disapprovingly, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she took off her own plastic, placing it inside her empty food container.

"Okay, now, on the count of three." I held the cookie in my hands. She mimicked me, fingers wrapped around the ends. "One….two…three!"

With a crack, the cookie broke in half, the slip of paper poking through the hard shell. I pulled it out of the cookie, letting the cookie halves fall into my lap.

I glanced over at Tori to find her with half of her cookie hanging out of her mouth and her fortune held in her hand.

"Well, what's it say?" I asked, reaching for her fortune. She lifted her arm, holding it out of my grasp, swallowing the cookie so she could speak.

"Hey! Read your own fortune, and I'll read mine!" She waited for me to sit back down out of reach before bringing her arm back down. I watched her read her fortune, noting how her cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink as she did so.

"Well? What does it say?"

She shook her head. "Look at yours first."

"Vega…"

"Come on, Jade, just read it."

I sighed and looked down at my fortune.

_Listen to your heart, and all will be well_

"Well, mine’s lame." I held it out to her, shaking it. "Switch."

She huffed in irritation but allowed us to exchange our fortunes.

I looked down at the slip that Tori had handed me, and immediately felt my stomach turn.

_Listen to your heart, and all will be well_

"What the fuck? It's the same fucking fortune!" I turned my head, looking at Tori. She looked just as confused as I was. "Seriously, what the hell?"

"Guess we just got lucky?" She handed me back my fortune, holding out her hand for me to put hers’ in it. I did, watching as her fingers closed protectively around it.

"Lucky?" I laughed, stuffing the fortune into my jeans pocket. "More like Mrs. Lee saved money by bulk-ordering cookies with a printing error or something. Now, come on, let's get to work."

* * *

We spent the next few hours spouting off ideas for a short play, but all of them sucked. The one that took the cake, though, was Vega's suggestion that we make a script about clowns who could only frown. I'm still not sure if she was joking or not.

I left after realizing we were getting nowhere. Tori had been upset, but I told her that there was no point staying if we couldn't think of an idea, and she eventually agreed that it might be better if we came up with a list of ideas on our own and then go from there.

Instead of driving home, I drove to Beck's house and parked next to the trailer in the driveway. An hour later, we were tangled around each other, his head on my chest, snoring softly.

But for some reason, for the first time that I could remember, the feeling of him against my body didn't make me happy or satisfied.

I just didn’t feel much of anything at all.

* * *

I'm still not sure when I first thought of Tori in a way that didn't immediately cause waves of irritation to come crashing over me. It had to have been before all of this started, but I don't think I ever really noticed until the day that we actually started working on our assignment.

Not that we weren't working on it before, or anything, but we hadn't really accomplished much until a week or so after the project was assigned. It took us a while before we could settle on a story that we both could deal with: a murder mystery with Tori as the murderer and myself as the attractive, yet oh-so-intelligent, police detective.

It was a Wednesday night and we were at her house, sitting on her bed, tossing ideas at each other.

"Okay, so after you try to stab me, I'll hit you with the chair." I typed the stage directions quickly, fingers flying across the keys of the laptop balanced on my knees. "And then…"

"And then I'll fall to the ground, cursing at you while you draw your gun. Then….we fade to black?"

I pondered that for a moment, fingers hovering over the keys. "Don't you think that'll be a little stereotypical? You know, the hero triumphing over the villain, but leaving the question of whether or not the villain lives up in the air?"

"Maybe, but do you have any better ideas?" she asked. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear idly as I thought about her question.

"Well, I had an idea, sort of, but I don't see how we would be able to do it in a play…." I leaned against the headboard and sighed in frustration. "This would be so much easier if it was a movie."

A pause, and then Tori spoke. "Well….why _can't_ it be a movie?"

I turned my head to look at her. "Huh?"

"Why can't it be a movie? Sikowitz never said that it couldn't be, and honestly, I think it could be so much more fun to film this instead of staging it.” she shrugged. "It's up to you, but…"

I shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. "No, that's actually a really good idea! That means we can use more blood, and better effects, and you can actually look like you're stabbing someone instead of just looking like you're poking them with a piece of plastic!" I could feel my excitement growing and couldn't help but let my smile grow a bit wider. "Yeah, I think that could work!"

I noticed that Tori was just watching me, a smile on her face. After a moment, it began to annoy me, so I wiped the grin from my face and glared at her. "What?"

She shrugged. “I don’t know, I just don't think I've ever seen you this happy without causing me physical or emotional pain."

"Yeah, well…." I felt my cheeks start to burn and turned my head away. "Whatever. Let's figure out how we're going to do this, okay?"

I could hear her laugh. "Are you blushing? Oh my god, Jade West is blushing!"

"Shut up, Vega.”

"This is so great." Her grin just kept growing. "This is just so, so great."

"Vega, if you don’t shut up, I will push you off this bed and use my scissors to destroy your stupid Cuddle-Me Kate doll." I pulled my pair of scissors from my waistband just to prove my point, eyeing the doll that sat on her pillow with as much malice as I could muster.

She shrunk back, the smile disappearing from her face. Her hand reached out and grabbed the doll. "Don’t you dare!” She hugged it to her chest, glaring at me. “And her name is Cuddle-Me Cathy, not Kate!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because I definitely care about the name of that thing.” She continued to glare at me, her arms wrapped tight around the doll. I released a heavy sigh and tucked the scissors back into my waistband. “Fine, they’re away, are you happy? Now can you stop hugging your doll and get your focus back onto what we're supposed to be doing?"

She started to set the doll back down on her pillow when she froze, staring at me. "Do you promise not to hurt Cathy?"

"Vega…"

Her bottom lip drooped down a bit, eyes growing wide. "Pweeeease?"

I just shook my head at her feeble attempt at a puppy dog pout. "If I promise, will you stop making yourself look like an idiot?"

She nodded in reply. I sighed again, holding my hands up in front of me. "I promise not to disembowel your doll."

"Good. Thank you." The pout disappeared, and she set the doll aside. "Now, what do we do next?"

I leaned back again, thinking. "Well, I don't know about you, but I think our script needs a bit of touching up now that we're going to be filming it."

"Yeah, you’re right. We can add more stage directions and stuff now."

“Sure can!” I cracked my knuckles loudly, smirking as she winced at the sound. “Let’s get started, then.”

* * *

The next hour or so seemed to fly by as we worked on tightening up our script. We added a bunch of additional stage directions and prop ideas, along with some more dialogue. I was actually fairly impressed with everything that we came up with. Tori impressed me, too. For someone who hates horror movies, she really came up with some twisted stuff.

After working for so long, though, it became obvious that we had maxed out the limits of our productivity for the day.

“Want to pack it in for the night, Vega?” I finally asked, watching as she tried to stifle yet another yawn.

“Do you mind?”

I shook my head, setting the laptop down on the bedspread. “Nah, I think we’ve basically got this figured out, anyway. Might need to just tighten a few things here and there, but we can do that later.”

“Oh, good.” She sat up straighter, clasping her hands together and stretching her arms above her head. “I was getting a little tired.”

“No, really? I thought you were yawning just to drive me nuts,” I replied, smirking when she shot me a look. I thought she was going to fire back at me with some sort of snide remark, but she didn’t. Instead, she looked at me a second longer before letting her arms drop back down. I couldn’t read the look in her eyes, and the sudden silence made me uneasy. “Got something you want to say, Vega?”

She bit her lip, shifting her position so that her back was pressed against the headboard. “Why did you get back together with Beck?”

I glanced back at her, taken aback by her question. “What?”

“I don’t know,” she said, fingers absently playing with the string of her sweatshirt’s hood. “I guess I just don’t really get the whole “on and off again” thing you guys have going on.”

I wanted to get up and leave. I wanted to storm out of her room and tell her that it wasn’t any of her business and to keep her nose out of it. I wanted to do a lot of things that would all but guarantee that she would never ask about my relationship with Beck again. But then her gaze met mine and my mouth turned to cotton and I realized that I didn’t know how to answer her question in a way that didn’t sound like an excuse.

“Jade?” she asked after a moment, and I realized that my hands were curled into tight fists and my fingernails were digging into my palms and I still hadn’t replied. 

“Why do you care, Vega?” I finally asked, uncurling my fingers and turning my hands palm-down so that she wouldn’t see the half-moon indents that marked them. “Trying to get your hands on my boyfriend again?”

It was her turn to fall silent, and I took it as my cue to leave. I sat up and swung my legs over the side of her bed, standing up quickly, grabbing my laptop off of the bed as I did. My backpack was on the floor, and I bent over to pick it up, ignoring the sound of bedsprings squeaking as Tori shifted on the bed, followed by the soft thud of her feet on the floor. I shoved the computer in the backpack and zipped it up, swinging it over my shoulder as I straightened. “See you in class, Vega,” I said, not looking back as I began to make my way to her bedroom door. I had almost made it there when I felt her hand close around my wrist.

“Wait,” she said, her hand moving down to clasp my own, and even though every neuron in my body was screaming at me to keep walking out of her door, I stopped dead in my tracks. The sensation of her skin against mine was unfamiliar and soft and _warm_ and I didn’t pull away.

Why didn’t I pull away?

“I just want you to be happy,” she whispered, and then her hand was gone, taking all the warmth it had brought with it.

I didn’t move for another moment, even though I knew that she had taken several steps away from me. I’m sure that she expected me to scream at her, or threaten her, or to do any of the terrible things that I normally promised to do, but I found that I didn’t want to do any of that.

Instead, I opened her bedroom door and left without looking back.

* * *

It was late by the time I left her place; late enough that the sun had disappeared, and the moon hung high in the sky. That was perfectly fine with me. I preferred to drive at night anyway.

It was only a ten minute drive from Tori's house to my own, but it felt more like an hour. They say that distracted driving is more dangerous than texting while driving, or drunk driving, but I don't think that's true. I mean, my mind was whirling with uncertainty and confusion for the entirety of that drive home and yet I didn’t crash or even run a red light.

I pulled into my driveway and idled there for a moment before twisting the key out of the ignition and listening as the hum of the motor faded off. And then I just sat there for a few more minutes, staring up at my house. No lights were on, and my mother's car wasn't in the driveway, which wasn’t even remotely surprising.

I finally opened my car door, stepping out onto the driveway. I walked to the front door, pulling my key out of my pocket. I unlocked the door and pushed it open before stepping into the dark and empty house.

I reached to my left, flicking the light switch. I couldn't help but wince as light illuminated the hallway, my eyes squinting as they accustomed themselves to the brightness.

I opened the closet to my right and kicked off my shoes into it. That closet consisted solely of my jackets and shoes. Mother kept her belongings elsewhere. I pulled the door shut again before making my way into the kitchen.

My mother may not have bothered coming home very often, but she still kept a well-stocked liquor cabinet. I suppose it allowed her to look all fancy for the clients she brought home every now and then. It was always high-end liquor, too; never any of that cheap shit that you can buy at any old liquor store. No, the stuff my mother kept stocked was the finest alcohol that fell within our budget. And our budget wasn't exactly small.

I opened the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of rum with a name that I couldn't pronounce and set it on the counter. Next came a can of Coke that I found in the fridge. I poured the soda into a glass I grabbed out of the dishwasher, pouring about a fourth of it into the sink when I realized I had filled it too high. A generous pour of rum followed the Coke, and I swirled the glass around a bit in order to mix the two together. I took a sip and decided that even though all I could really taste was alcohol, it still needed more rum. I poured another shot into the glass and walked away, not bothering to put the bottle away. It wasn’t like Mother was going to be home to see it anyway.

The glass was cold in my hand as I started to climb the stairs that led to the upper floor, which was mostly occupied by my bedroom and bathroom. I took another sip as I stepped off the top stair and walked to my bedroom. I kicked the door shut behind me out of habit.

I threw my backpack on my desk chair before throwing myself onto my bed, never letting go of the glass in my hand. I took another swallow, this time just drinking and drinking until half of it was gone.

It occurred to me a moment later that I probably should have eaten something before drinking, but then it also occurred to me that I really didn't give a fuck.

My pocket started to vibrate, confusing me for a moment before I realized that it was just my phone. I pulled it out of my pocket using my free hand and clicked it on, not bothering to check the caller ID first.

"Yeah?" 

A pause, then a reply. _"Hey you."_ Beck. Of course it was Beck. It always was. _"Haven't seen you today…"_

"Yeah, well, my life doesn't exactly revolve around you, does it?" The bitterness in my voice surprised me, and the silence that came from the other end confirmed that it had surprised Beck, too.

"Sorry, I'm just…" I stopped myself, trying to refocus. "What did you want?"

 _"I just wanted to check up on you,"_ came his cautious reply. I sighed, knowing that I had upset him.

"I've been busy with Vega. You know, doing that stupid project for Sikowitz."

_"Yeah, that's what I've been doing with Sinjin…which reminds me, you still owe me for that."_

I knew he was joking, but that didn’t stop the anger from coming. "I don't owe you shit."

 _"No, I suppose you don't,_ " he sighed. " _Well, I guess I'll let you go now. Have a good night."_

"Wait!" My exclamation surprised myself, and I hesitated before continuing. "Wait."

_"What?"_

I glanced at my alarm clock, checking the time. It wasn't too horribly late. "Come over."

Silence for a moment _. "Okay. I'll be over in a few."_

I hung up without replying and set my phone on the nightstand next to my bed before bringing my glass up to my lips and downing the rest of my drink, not bothering to take a breath as I swallowed.

When the glass was empty, I set it next to my phone, and laid my head down on my pillow, waiting.

* * *

It didn't take long for Beck to arrive. He didn't live that horribly far from me, and if I knew him, the prospect of a booty call had led him to be more reckless with his speed than normal.

I heard his car pull into the driveway and saw the headlights illuminate the front of the house and shine through my window before darkness returned as he turned them off. A moment later, a car door slammed shut, followed by the opening and shutting of my front door a few moments later.

"Jade?" I heard him call out, his voice echoing throughout the house.

"Upstairs!"

The creak of the stairs, and then my door handle began to turn, the door opening to reveal a smiling Beck.

"I'm here," he greeted, stepping inside. I motioned for him to close the door behind him, which he did, before walking over to the side of my bed.

"Thanks for coming." I replied, the unfamiliarity of actually voicing my gratitude causing me to pause. Beck's eyebrows raised for a moment, but he didn't say anything, so I patted the empty side of the bed, motioning for him to join me. He sat, kicking off his shoes before he laid down next to me.

"What can I do for you?" he asked, turning onto his side so he faced me. I could feel his hand trail down my arm, his fingers pausing on top of the back of my hand. I stiffened but tried not to let it show.

"Love me." I whispered after a moment, pulling my hand out from underneath his.

If he noticed my apprehension, he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he smiled again, that smile that used to make my heart leap, and propped himself up on an elbow. "Can do."

He leaned in to kiss me, but then paused, pulling his head back. "Have you been drinking?”

"Does it matter?" I reached out, grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me. He glanced down at my hands, then back to my face. A shake of his head followed, which caused me to release a small sigh of relief.

And then he was kissing me, soft at first, but growing rougher as I tugged him even closer. I let my hands slip under his shirt and wander over his abdomen, feeling the hard muscles twitch beneath his skin. Perfect washboard abs, something that had attracted me to him in the first place. But tonight, they felt hard and cold and I felt a sudden strong urge to push him off of me, to force him to stop. I pushed that urge aside, tried to focus on him. But that wasn’t enough to keep him from stopping and pulling back, a look of confusion on his face. "Are you okay?”

I forced myself to nod, swallowing hard. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little drunker than I had thought, I guess.”

"Do you…do you want me to stop?" he asked, concern shining in his eyes.

I shook my head, fighting back the voice in my head that was screaming a resounding _yes_. "No."

He watched me for another moment, and I tried to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. Then he leaned in to kiss me again and I let him, this time kissing him back.

Minutes later, we were both naked and he was inside me. Thankfully, he had had the foresight to bring along a condom, because I hadn't even thought about it before he had pulled it onto himself.

Our dance was well rehearsed, and I just played my part, moaning at the right times, speaking his name at others. Normally, I would have been lost in the moment, focusing on the growing feeling of pleasure that flooded through me. But this time, even as the pleasure rose, all I could think about was how I wished it wasn't him.

How I wished it was Tori.

That thought slammed into me at the same time as the orgasm did, and I couldn't stop myself from crying out, though whether it was in ecstasy or fear, I couldn't tell. I hoped he couldn’t, either.

He shuddered, arms quivering as his own orgasm hit him, panting as his head fell forward. His hair hung over his face, damp with sweat.

And then it was over, and he was pulling out of me and falling onto his back on the space next to where I lay.

I felt his arms wrap around me, and I turned onto my side so that I didn't have to face him. A moment later, the comforter was being pulled over me, covering up our nakedness. I still felt just as exposed, though I knew it wouldn’t matter whether I was clothed or not.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear, before softly kissing my temple.

I felt my heart thud against my chest as I heard him, the realization of what I had thought earlier finally really hitting home.

I wanted Tori. I wanted Tori Vega in ways that I shouldn't ever want Tori Vega. I wanted her hands to touch me everywhere until every remnant of Beck’s touch was gone. I wanted her to kiss me and fuck me and I wanted to do the same thing to her.

I wanted Tori Vega, and I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do with that information.

"I love you, too," was my reply. I heard his satisfied sigh, and then all was silent, save for the beating of my racing heart.


	3. Chapter 3

"Babe?"

I could feel his touch, could feel his hot breath against my ear. I ignored him and pretended to still be fast asleep.

"Babe?" he shook my shoulder gently, but with enough force that I couldn't ignore it any longer.

"What," I muttered, refusing to open my eyes. I felt his hand lift off of my body.

"It's morning. I have to go," he replied, his touch of hurt in his tone. I wanted to care about that, I really did, but I just couldn't bring myself to.

"Okay,” was my own reply; Short, sweet, to the point.

A press of lips against the top of my head. "I love you."

His words burned me, reminding me of what I was desperately trying to forget. I didn't respond, instead choosing to pretend that I had fallen back asleep.

I heard him sigh and felt him roll off of the bed. There was the rustle of clothing being picked up, and then, after a few moments, the thud of my door shutting behind him as he left.

A minute later, I heard his car start, followed by the squeal of tires as he pulled out of my driveway. I didn’t open my eyes, even when the roar of his engine was out of earshot.

Fuck.

Just….fuck.

I had lain awake for the majority of the night, trying to convince myself that the thoughts that I had had were just fantasy; my imagination going wild. I had been drunk, after all. There's no way I would have ever had those thoughts sober. There was just no way.

I must have fallen back asleep because when I finally opened my eyes and glanced at the time on my phone, it was already after noon. I sat up, groaning as my head throbbed. I shouldn’t have been hungover, but apparently my body didn’t give a fuck about the fact that I had only had a few shots. I forced myself to my feet, grabbing my nightstand with one hand, steadying myself as tremors coursed through my body.

My clothes were discarded on the floor, but there was no way I was going to bother picking them up and putting them back on. It wasn’t like anyone was going to be there to see me if I galivanted through my house buck-ass naked. I kicked the clothes into a pile and groaned again as even that movement sent stabs of pain into my brain. That was okay, though. If I was in enough pain, then maybe I could forget about everything else for a little while.

I went and used the bathroom, scrubbing my teeth before opening the medicine cabinet and dry-swallowing a couple of ibuprofen. I didn’t bother looking at my reflection, and instead stepped into the shower. I twisted the knob so that the water was steaming hot; almost too hot to stand, but not quite. It hurt, but the pain was good. Distracting.

I stood underneath the spray, letting the water cascade down my body. The ache in my head began to give way to the burn of the water and I watched as my skin quickly turned from a pale white to a shining red. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, just letting the water wash over me. But even though the pain managed to distract me for a few minutes, it wasn’t enough to keep the thoughts from flooding back.

Tori Vega.

She was someone that I had spent months tormenting, only to have her keep trying, for some unknown and ungodly reason, to be my friend. Someone that I had teased and taunted mercilessly, but who also had little trouble giving it right back. She didn’t treat me like the rest of our little group, and it used to drive me absolutely nuts that I couldn’t get her to just give up and let me alone.

Someone with the voice of an angel, as much as I hated to admit it.

Someone with lightly bronzed skin that shined when the light hit it, with deep, chocolate-colored eyes that you could just get lost in.

Fuck.

I opened my eyes and made myself finish up my shower. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, then I was done, and the water was off, and I was still as dirty as I felt when I had first stepped in.

And then I forced myself to throw on my bathrobe and went back into my bedroom so I could grab my glass off the nightstand where I had left it. I went downstairs and filled it with the rum I had left on the counter before going back upstairs and drinking it all, ignoring the burning that it left in my throat as I swallowed.

If I was drunk, then it would be okay. I would have something else to blame; something to hate other than myself.

And if the buzz in my head was any indication, I was going to be pretty damn drunk.

I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. This time, I didn’t bother to stop the thoughts from slamming into me. _Couldn’t_ stop them.

_The soft touch of lips pressed against mine, hands roaming over skin, hair tickling my face. The sensation of her touch going lower and lower, and then_

_Oh god._

_Ecstasy. Pure, utter pleasure, unlike anything I've ever felt before._

"Tori!" I cried out, my back arching as I released. My teeth dug into my lip as I rode the high back down.

And then it was over, and I was left with the realization that my hand was still curled up inside of me, and there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world that would make me forget what I had just done.

I pulled my hand out quickly, wiping it furiously against the sheets. No. No. Jesusfuckingchristno.

It was the alcohol. It was always just the alcohol. It was the alcohol that made me think that way, that made me do what I did, and a few minutes later, it was the alcohol that lulled me back into a restless sleep.

* * *

It was the ringing of my phone that forced me out of that slumber, and even though all I wanted to do was ignore it and go the fuck back to sleep, I found myself reaching over to my nightstand. I grabbed my cell and clicked it on without bothering to open my eyes. “What do you want?”

_"Jade?"_

My eyes flew open at the sound of her voice.

_"Are you there?"_

I tried to ignore the pounding in my chest and forced myself to swallow hard before finally answering. "What do you want, Vega?"

A momentary pause. _"Well, you never showed up to class, and I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. Beck said that you seemed fine last night, so…."_ A small sigh. _"I just wanted to make sure, okay?"_

Fuck. It had been a school day, hadn't it?

"I'm fine, Vega," was my reply, though I felt everything but.

Another pause. " _Okay…well, do you want to work on rehearsing our film? We only have another couple of weeks left to film it, and…"_

I cut her off. "I'm not sure that would be the best idea." Stupid. So stupid. Why did I say that? Why didn't I just say no, and leave it at that?

_"What do you mean? Are you sick?"_ I could hear the worry in her voice, and continued to mentally kick myself.

"No, I just…" I shook my head, gripping the phone tighter. "I just…dammit."

_"Jade, are you sure you're alright?"_

"I'm fine!" I snapped. Then a twinge of guilt hit me and I softened my tone before continuing. "Just….yeah, let's just rehearse it. Let's try to get this thing done."

_"Okay….do you want to come over here?"_

I started to say yes, but then saw the empty glass sitting next to me, and I realized that I still felt pretty buzzed. There was no way that I would be able to drive. "Uh….no. No, why don't you come over here?"

_"Really?"_ The surprise was evident in her voice, and I couldn't really blame her. I never invited her over before. I never invited anyone over, really. _"Yeah, yeah, that's fine! When can I come over?"_

I ran a hand through my still-damp hair and gripped it tight at the roots. "How about in half an hour?"

_"Sure, that's fine! I'll see you soon, okay?"_

"Yeah." I hung up without another word, needing to stop talking before I said anything else. I didn't trust myself or the words that might have slipped out. Not that that really mattered, considering I was going to be face-to-face with her in almost no time at all. Fuck, I was so stupid.

Half an hour. Half an hour to change the sheets, wash my hands, brush my teeth, and generally just make it seem like I hadn't spent the afternoon fucking myself.

I stripped my bed, exchanging one set of dark purple sheets for another set. I stuffed the soiled ones in my hamper, burying them underneath dirty clothes. I added my clothes from last night as well, along with my bathrobe. I pulled on clothes quickly, making sure everything was unwrinkled and clean, and then it was back to the bathroom. I pumped soap onto my hands, scrubbing and scrubbing until I was satisfied that any remnants of my earlier activity had been washed away. I brushed my teeth again, trying to cover up the smell of liquor. I wasn't satisfied with the result, though, and searched my room for a stick of gum. I eventually found one and popped it into my mouth, chewing furiously.

And then I heard a car pull into my driveway, and every fear that I had had in the past twenty-four hours came rushing back.

The doorbell rang and I made my way downstairs, making sure to drop off the glass in the sink before I went to the door. My heart was beating a tattoo into my ribcage and I stood in front of the door for a long moment, trying desperately to calm myself down. For Pete’s sake, I was Jade West. I was an _actor_. I could do this.

I pulled the door open and came face-to-face with Tori, whose hand was stretched to her left, fingers poised to press the doorbell again.

"Hey." I moved out of the doorway and let her walk in. I shut the door behind her.

"Hey…" she replied, head turning as she took in the view. "Nice house."

"Thanks."

"So….where do you want to work on this?" she asked, shaking the scripts that she held in her hand.

I motioned towards the stairs. "Upstairs, in my room." I started to walk towards the stairs, but then stopped, my mother’s voice ringing in my head, telling me to be a good host. "Do you want something to drink?"

She turned, looking at me with those deep chocolate eyes. My heart skipped a beat, but I fought hard not to let it show. "Sure.”

"Will water do?" I looked away from her and walked towards the fridge. I opened it and pulled two bottles from it before she could answer.

"Yeah, that's fine."

I closed the fridge and walked back to her, handing her a bottle. "Here. Now, come on."

I led her up the stairs and into my room, hoping that I hadn’t forgotten anything in my mad dash to clean up. I heard a sharp intake of breath as we entered, and I turned to her, immediately worried.

"What?"

She shook her head, turning around in a circle slowly. "Your room….it’s so... _normal._ ”

I stared at her, eyebrow cocked. “What?”

"I was expecting…I don't know, animal heads, or bones, or something. Not posters and paintings and..." she looked closer at my bed, brow furrowed. “Is that a throw pillow?”

I shook my head, trying very, very hard not to roll my eyes. "Jeez, I’m surprised you didn’t think I slept in a coffin or something.” A blush spread across her cheeks, and I slapped a palm against my forehead. “You’ve got to be kidding me, right? Believe it or not, Vega, I'm not _that_ creepy.”

“I never said you _were_ creepy!”

“You thought I slept in a coffin!”

“Yeah, well….” She looked at me and stuck her tongue out, blowing a quick raspberry in my direction. I couldn’t stop the smile from tugging at my lips at that.

"Are you done insinuating that I'm a serial killer or a vampire or whatever it is that you’re afraid of?” I waited for her to nod before continuing. “Good. Now, let's get down to business, okay?”

Tori held out a script to me. I took it, noticing how all of my lines were already highlighted. I flipped through it and found myself impressed by how organized it was.

"I figured we could start from the beginning and go from there,” she said, watching me intently, her eyes trained on my face. I turned away, refusing to meet her gaze.

"That's fine." I turned back to the first page and was about to start reading from it when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I froze, muscles tensing beneath her touch, and tried to pretend that I wasn’t about to jump out of my skin.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

My mind flashed back to earlier and I closed my eyes tightly and tried to force the image away. I opened them again and took a deep breath before answering. "I'm fine, Vega." The same lie. I couldn't focus on anything but her hand, and then the fingers of her other hand were underneath my chin, tilting it up so I was forced to look at her.

"You don't look fine." She studied my face, her eyes shining with worry and something else that I couldn’t figure out, but that made the air catch in my lungs when I tried to take a breath. "Your eyes are red, and your pupils are huge. You've been shaky the entire time I've been here, and honestly, you don't seem too steady on your feet right now."

“So?" I pulled away from her and turned away, trying to focus solely on not stumbling and giving her more ammunition to prove her point. A hand closed around my wrist, preventing me from going further. Her fingers pressed into my skin and I could practically feel the anger rising within her. Good. Anger I could deal with.

"So, I know when somebody's drunk, Jade, and you've obviously been drinking.”

"Oh, fuck you." I turned to face her and tried to twist out of her grasp. "Just fuck you, okay?"

Tori let go of my wrist, her arm falling to her side. "Jade, what’s going on?"

"Nothing." My reply was far too quick and far too biting. Shit. I sat down on the edge of my bed and set the script next to me. "How did you know?"

"I live with Trina. I’m used to seeing her drunk." A pause. "You also left the bottle on the counter."

"Fuck." I held my head in my hands and sighed. "Look, can we just rehearse, and forget about this? Please?"

I felt the bed sag with the change in weight when she sat next to me. Her hand rested on my thigh and a shiver ran up my spine. "Is this about what happened yesterday?"

"What?" I opened my eyes and glanced at her. She wasn't looking at me, though.

"Believe it or not, Jade, I'm not oblivious. I know that you felt it too."

I tried to laugh in a way that made it seem like I was anything other than about to jump out of my skin, but I knew that she could still hear the nervousness in it. "I don't know what you're talking about, Vega."

She didn't respond immediately, but she pulled her hand off of my leg and stood up. The sudden absence of her weight on the mattress caused it to shift beneath me, and a fresh wave of dizziness washed over me. “Let’s rehearse,” she said, picking up her script. I hesitated for a moment before I stood and grabbed my script.

A moment passed before I realized that I had the first line. I cleared my throat and tried to ignore Tori’s stare. "Tell me where you hid the bodies, and you’ll get a sentence that won't result in your execution."

"I'm not telling you anything." Tori replied, and I almost took a step back when I heard the anger in her voice. "Go to hell!"

I circled her slowly, trying to keep focused on the script. "Ms. Harrison, we know that you murdered your husband. We know you murdered his mistress. You're not getting out of this."

"You don't know anything." She glared at me as I completed my circle, her eyes filled with a fire that caused my stomach to twist into a knot. "You're lying."

"You know that I'm not." I leaned in closer to her and forced my eyes to remain steady as I met her gaze. The fire burned brighter, and I could tell that the anger in her eyes was genuine. My mouth turned to cotton, but I forced myself to say my next line. "If you don't tell me, Ms. Harrison, I will do my best to make your life miserable.”

"You already have,” came her reply, and I paused, glancing down at my script. That line wasn't something that we had written. I didn’t have time to point it out, though, because she moved on quickly, continuing with her next written line. "Let me go. You have no reason to hold me here."

I gestured towards an imaginary table. "Look here! There are photographs that have you at the scene, with a knife in your hand and blood splattered all over your clothes! There are your clothes right there, covered in the blood of your husband and his mistress! What more of a reason do we need?"

She grinned, a sick smile that didn’t reach her eyes. "Well, a body might help."

I turned around, my hands grabbing her shoulders. I shoved her against the wall, being careful not to push too hard. I didn't want to hurt her. I thought I saw her flinch, though, and I knew that I had heard a small gasp escape past her lips. I chose to ignore it, though, and continued with my next line. "You filthy little…" I bent my head closer to her ear and gripped her shoulder a little tighter. "You're a monster."

"Am I?" I felt her grab my arms, and I let her turn me quickly, feeling my back slam against the wall in her place. I pretended to struggle, feigning resistance. Tori's eyes quickly glanced down at my body, almost too quick for me to notice, before she met my gaze. "Forgive me if I disagree."

The script fell from my hand. I didn't need it, and it was taking up too much room. Tori must have discarded hers earlier without my noticing it, since she was no longer holding it either. "Release me!"

"No!" She pushed harder, fingernails pressing into the skin of my shoulders. I winced, not expecting her to actually hurt me. She saw my reaction, I'm sure of it, but didn't pull back. If anything, she pushed even harder.

"I said, release me!" I pushed back against her, kicking up so that my foot lightly tapped against her knee. She started to buckle, but didn’t let go. The panic that I had tried so hard to fight back blossomed again. That wasn't in the script. She was supposed to let go. Why wasn't she letting go?

"No." Tori looked up at me, straightening so that she almost seemed taller than I was. She pushed me back against the wall and grabbed my wrists so that she could pin my arms above my head. I found that I could only stare at her in utter confusion. "No, I'm not going to let go."

"Uhm, Vega? This isn't in the script," I managed to say, hardly able to hear the words over the pounding of my heartbeat.

"I know." She looked at me, her gaze steady. She gripped my wrists tighter. "You're going to tell me what's wrong, and then I'll let you go."

"Vega, this isn't funny." I tried to force my way out of her grasp, but she pressed harder, using her body to force my shoulder-blades against the plaster. God, she was surprisingly strong.

"I'm not trying to be funny. Why did you skip school? Why are you drunk? Just tell me what the hell is going on, Jade!”

"I don't have to tell you anything, Vega," I muttered. My arms were beginning to ache, and the dizziness that I had managed to ignore for so long was only growing. Fucking rum.

"No, you don't. But, you're going to."

"Or what?"

Tori bent her head so that I couldn’t see her face, and her shoulders sagged. "Hell, I don't know.” She sighed and let go of my wrists, allowing me to bring my arms down to my sides. "I'm confused, Jade, and I just want answers."

"Well, maybe I don't have those answers for you, Vega. Ever think about that?" I rolled my shoulders, wincing. She didn't respond, so I continued. "Look, Tori, can we just…"

"No." she bent down and picked her script up off of the floor. "No, we can't. Either you actually give me a straight answer, with no bullshit, or I'm leaving." She looked at me, and I could see that the fire had all-but extinguished. "It's up to you."

I tried to think of something, anything, to say, but couldn’t come up with anything so, after a few moments, my silence gave her my answer. She sighed and walked towards the door. "I'll see you later, Jade."

I wanted to stop her. I really did. I wanted to grab her arm and throw her onto my bed, and kiss her, or fuck her, or I don't even know. I just wanted to stop her from leaving. But, I didn't, and I just stood there as she shook her head before she turned and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days seemed to drag on and on without end, each one increasingly longer than the last. Not that I cared. I didn't care about anything at that point. Why should I?

I kept to myself, not leaving my room for any reason other than getting food or using the bathroom. Beck called a few times, but I didn't answer. After the tenth time, I finally texted him and told him I was sick. Which, if I’m being honest, really wasn't that much of a lie. I _was_ sick. Just not in the way he thought I was.

I was sick. Sick for wanting Tori. Sick for thinking of her instead of Beck; of thinking of her while I was _with_ Beck. Sick for even entertaining the notion. Sick for so many reasons, and none of them good.

The weekend lasted forever, and yet, when Monday came around, I realized it wasn't nearly long enough. I had to get out of my room and go to school. I was already probably going to get in trouble for skipping Friday. I didn't need a detention or suspension on top of everything else.

It was because of that that I found myself in my car, driving to Hollywood Arts, and praying that once I got there, I would be able to stay sane long enough to get through the day.

It took longer than usual for me to pull into the HA parking lot. I had gotten stuck at every traffic light; stuck behind every bus picking up kids. It was like the universe was trying its very best to make sure that I didn't get there, and fuck, I almost turned around so many times. But, I didn’t, and somehow I still managed to get there with ten minutes to spare.

I pulled into my parking space and turned the car off. And then I just sat there, watching as other students arrived and went into the building.

I must have spaced out for a bit, because I never saw him walk up to my car. It wasn't until his knuckles were tapping on my window that I ever noticed that he was there.

_Fuck._ I opened my car door and stepped out onto the macadam. "Hey, Beck."

His smile, one of the things that had first attracted me to him, was on his lips as he replied. "Hey babe! Feeling better?"

"I guess so." I leaned back into my car and grabbed my bag before I slammed the door shut. The noise made a nearby underclassman jump in surprise, but Beck didn’t react. He never did. Instead, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and squeezed me gently. The gesture used to make me feel wanted and loved and like I was worth something, but today all it made me feel was claustrophobic, so I quickly shrugged his arm off and stepped away.

The smile disappeared from his face, turning into a frown as his eyes shone with worry. "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head and tried to act as normal as I possibly could. "No, I just…don't want to get you sick, that's all." I forced myself to cough, trying to sound as contagious as possible, and prayed that I was as good of an actor as I claimed that I was.

He grimaced and stepped back. "Yeah, good call."

I began to walk towards the entrance to the school, and he followed. We pushed through the door, said goodbye, and went our separate ways. We didn’t have the same class during first period, which was something that always used to really piss me off, but today it was a relief because I had no idea how long I would be able to keep up my act.

I went to my locker, twisting the dial as quickly as possible before trying to open it. It wouldn't open. I grit my teeth and tried again. Nothing.

"Come on!" I whispered, trying to calm down and go slower. First number, second, third. 13, 35, 17. It opened that time, the lock falling into my hand. "Yes!"

"What are you so happy about, Jade?" I heard a sing-songy voice ask from over my shoulder. I turned my head to see Cat standing behind me, a smile on her face like always.

"Uh, nothing, Cat.” I reached into my locker and grabbed a textbook out of it. “Just something stupid.”

"Oh! Okay then!" Cat moved to my other side. She hopped on one foot, switching sides every so often, and all I wanted to do was grab her by the shoulders and force her to stop moving, but I didn’t. "Hey, have you seen Tori?"

That caught my attention. "Vega?"

"Yeah, she hasn't texted me all weekend, and I haven't seen her yet today and I figured you're her project partner, so maybe you know where she is and..”

I shook my head, cutting her off before she could continue rambling. "I have no idea where she is.” I shut my locker and leaned against it, the metal cold even through the fabric of my shirt. "Maybe she's sick or something."

_(Maybe she was sick just like me)_

"Maybe!" Cat skipped off, waving over her shoulder. "See you later, Jade!"

I watched her go and tried to ignore the worry that was beginning to bloom in my chest. Tori _never_ skipped school. She also never ignored texts. Never. Not even that time when I texted her and told her that her sister had fallen into a quarry and couldn't get out. She had texted me back even then, though it was only to tell me that Trina was fine and sitting next to her.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I stared at the screen for a few moments, hesitant, before I forced my fingers to scroll down my contact list until I found her name and tapped to open a new message.

_Where are you?_ I typed, clicking send before I could second-guess myself. I shoved my phone back into my pocket just as the bell rang, signaling that classes were about to begin. I made my way to class and tried to ignore how heavy my phone felt in my pocket and how it compared to the weight of the uncertainty that loomed over me.

* * *

By lunchtime, I still hadn’t heard back from Tori and I was about ready to crawl out of my skin.

I sat down at a table in the Asphalt Café without bothering to get any food. The lack of response from Tori already had my stomach in knots and the very thought of eating made it that much worse.

Beck was the first to arrive, a tray of questionable meat and vegetables in his hands. He set it down and slid onto the bench beside me. "Aren't you eating anything, babe?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Why not?" He stabbed a piece of meat with his fork and popped it into his mouth. “It isn’t _that_ bad.”

"That looks vile." I stood up and picked up my bag off of the ground. "I'm going to head out. Tell Sikowitz that I'm not feeling well."

"Wait!" I felt his hand grab my wrist and so I stopped. I didn’t look back at him, though, because I knew that all I would see is the worry in his eyes and the frown on his lips and I just couldn’t handle it. "Where are you going?"

I tugged my arm out of his grasp and started to walk away again. "Home. Don't worry, I’m fine.”

I heard him get up and follow me, but I didn't stop walking. If I did, I wouldn't keep going. I would stop in my tracks and turn around and _stay._ And there was a part of me that wanted to; a part of me that wanted him to convince me to remain behind. But there was another part of me that wanted so desperately to _run._

"Jade, if there's something going on, please just _tell me_!" I heard him say. By then we were at my car, and I was digging through my bag for my keys and I could feel his presence behind me and I prayed that he wouldn’t touch me because if he did it would be over and I prayed that he _would_ and-

I found my keys.

"Beck, I said you didn't have to worry." I replied, digging my keys out of my bag. I opened the door and slid into the driver's seat quickly, tossing my bag onto the floor.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I won't." He stopped me from closing the door, his fingers curling around the top and holding it open.

I sighed and sunk down into my seat, trying to get as far away from him as possible without being obvious about it. "Beck, please. Just let me go.”

He looked at me for a moment, the worry in his eyes clouded over by something new, something that I didn’t recognize, and then he nodded and stepped back. "Be careful. I love you."

I stuck the key in the ignition and took a deep breath before looking back at him. "I love you too."

For the first time, it felt like a lie.

He shut my door and waved me off. As I drove away, I could see his frown in my rearview mirror, only disappearing once I turned out of the lot.

* * *

I don't know why the hell I was driving to the Vega household, but I was, and if I drove any faster, I would probably lose control of the car, but I needed to get there, and get there as quickly as possible.

_This was stupid. This was so fucking stupid_.

That thought kept repeating itself through my head like a broken record and I could easily acknowledge that it was true. This was stupid; possibly the stupidest and most dangerous thing I’ve ever done. But I was known for doing stupid and dangerous things, so what was adding one more to the list going to do?

The Vega house was only a few minutes away from Hollywood Arts, so it didn't take me long to get there. A few turns, a few side streets, and then there I was, pulling into the driveway with my heart beating a new and frantic rhythm into my ribcage.

And then I was at the front door with my fist outstretched and ready to start hammering against the wood when the door opened and I found myself face-to-face with the very girl I couldn't get out of my head.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her tone dry and emotionless and so unlike Tori Vega that I found myself momentarily lost for words.

I let my hand slowly fall back down to my side and exhaled the breath that I hadn’t even realized I was holding. "Can I come in?"

She stared at me for a moment and I had to stop myself from shrinking back when I saw the ice in her gaze. But then she stepped away from the entryway and allowed me to come inside. I did, letting her close the door behind me.

"I'll ask again. What are you doing here?"

I couldn't help but flinch at the cold edge in her voice. "Cat said she hadn't heard from you. You didn't text me back either, so I came to see what's up."

Tori stared at me for a moment before she turned away. "Nothing's up, Jade. Go back to school." She began to walk away, but I followed close behind. I had made it almost all the way up the stairs before she turned around and glared at me. "I told you to leave."

"And I'm not going." I reached the top step and stood there, not looking away when her eyes narrowed. "We have shit we need to figure out, and I'm not leaving until we do. Because I can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" She turned around and walked towards her room. I followed, closing the door behind me as we walked inside.

"You _know_ what."

She sat on her bed and glared at me again. Her eyes held the same fire that I had seen burn in them a few days earlier, and it made me a little less nervous because anger was better than no emotions at all. "No, I _don't_ know what, because you won't tell me, remember?!”

I grit my teeth and walked over to her, placing my hands on either side of her legs. I leaned forward, and she leaned back, her hair brushing against the comforter on her bed. "I don't think you really need me to tell you, Vega. I think you know exactly what is going on, because I think you might be having the same issue as I am."

She continued to glare at me, but instead of pure anger, there was something else that flashed in her eyes; something that I didn’t recognize but that made my heart beat a little faster. "I don't know what you're talking about.”

"The fuck you don't." I remained where I was for another moment before I pushed off of her bed and stood in front of her. She straightened back up and watched me. Just watched me. And for some reason, that made me angrier than anything else had.

"Goddamn you, Vega." I muttered, my hands clenching into fists by my sides.

Her eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"I said, goddamn you! Damn you, Vega. You've done nothing but fuck with my head, and I'm sick of it!" I realized that my voice had risen to the point where I was almost shouting, but I didn’t care. There was nothing I could have done about it anyway. The words began pouring out of me, and I couldn’t stop them even if I had tried. “I'm sick of you always having to be fucking perfect, and I'm sick of you always being in my thoughts at every fucking moment of the day, and I'm sick of wanting you in ways that I've only wanted Beck, and I'm sick of just wanting to kiss you and forget about everyone else! I'm just fucking sick of it, okay?" I turned away from her, not able to stand the look on her face for any longer. "Fuck.”

I heard the bed creak, and heard her footsteps behind me, but I refused to acknowledge them. Then her hand was on my shoulder, and I was being turned around, and I couldn’t keep myself from thinking back to the message that had been printed on the fortunes from those godforsaken cookies that she and I had eaten so many nights ago.

_Listen to your heart, and all will be well_

And then her lips were on mine, and she was kissing me with a hunger that I couldn't even begin to explain.

And it was just as fucking perfect as she was.

* * *

Confession time.

I’ve kissed a lot of people in my day. Beck, Johnny Calls, Harry Trush, hell, I even kissed Andre one time a few years ago. Not just guys, either. I've been around. I've partied and tongued a few girls a time or two, though I couldn’t tell you their names.

None of them prepared me for Tori Vega, though.

God, I can't even begin to describe just how perfect of a kisser she was. Forceful, hungry, yet sweet, with a softness that Beck just didn't have.

Beck tasted like coffee but Tori tasted like sugar and a hint of spice that I couldn’t place. And I love coffee, but this was just better, somehow.

And that scared me.

I wasn't supposed to like Tori. Hell, I wasn't supposed to like anyone other than Beck. And I sure as hell wasn’t supposed to be _kissing_ anyone other than Beck.

So why the fuck was I still kissing her?

I tore myself away from her and stumbled backwards, my back hitting the wall. "Fuck." I pressed my index and middle fingers to my lips, feeling the swollen heat that remained. My heart was racing, pounding against my chest with a thudding pain that made me gasp for breath. "Oh, fuck."

"Jade?" Tori's voice was barely above a whisper, hardly loud enough for me to hear. I didn't react, other than to avert my gaze so that I was looking at the floor instead of towards her. I couldn't deal with it. Couldn't deal with her. Not after that. Not after she had just done that.

"Jade, you're scaring me." I could hear her move closer, the wooden boards of her floor creaking underneath her footsteps.

Then her hand was on my shoulder, and her fingers were pulling my chin up, gently forcing me to look at her. "Are you okay?"

"Let go of me, Vega." I demanded, the familiar hard edge entering my voice and I could see her flinch just ever-so-slightly, so I softened my tone. “Please?”

Her eyes widened in surprise at my plea, and her hands fell to her side as she nodded. She moved out of my way as I made my way to her bed, slowly sitting down on top of the comforter. I swung my legs so my feet dangled off the end as I lay down and stared at the ceiling. My head rested on a pillow

_Her pillow_

and I could feel her the bed shift beneath her weight as she laid down next to me.

It was a long time before I spoke, and when I did, I tried to choose my words carefully. "This is wrong."

There was silence for a moment, and it surprised me. I expected her to gasp, or object, or to say _something_ , but instead all I received was silence. I turned my head so I could look at her, and became concerned when I saw her just staring up at the ceiling with her arms crossed tight across her chest. She must have sensed that I was staring, though, because she finally spoke. "I know."

Well. That was certainly not the reply I was expecting. Her words hit me in the chest and sunk into my heart, just adding to the ache that was already there. "You know?"

"Of course I do. It _is_ wrong. You're dating Beck. And I knew that and kissed you anyway." She laughed, but it was completely void of humor. "I'm a homewrecker."

That was also not the response I expected. "Wait. That’s your focus here? You just kissed me, Jade West….a _girl_ , and you’re focusing on the fact that I just cheated on my boyfriend?” I shook my head. "You have a weird set of priorities, Vega.”

"Why?" She looked over at me, eyebrow raised. "I've never had a problem with liking girls. And I like you. Why should that bother me?"

"Well, because…." I paused, thinking it over. "You’ve never given any indication that you’re anything less than straight?”

"Neither have you. And yet, here we are.”

That certainly shut me up for a moment. Just for a moment. "Vega, I…"

"No." She looked away from me for a moment and sighed, her chest falling as she exhaled. "Look, Jade, I really like you. I think that you like me, too." She paused and looked over at me for confirmation. I nodded, and she turned back away, staring up at the ceiling again. "But, I shouldn’t have kissed you. I was caught up in the moment and didn’t think it through, and I can’t do this. I can't do this to Beck. And I don’t think you can either.”

"I can’t." I reached my hand out tentatively, wanting to take her hand in mine, but I hesitated and drew it back after another moment. "I feel horrible about doing this. So, so incredibly horrible. But, god, please don’t say that it was a mistake, because I don’t think it was. Because even though I feel horrible that we just did that, I know I would be feeling worse if we hadn’t.”

"That doesn't..." she began, but I interrupted before she could go on.

"Vega, the other night, I was fucking Beck." I heard her take a sharp intake of breath, and I felt the corners of my lips tug up into a barely-concealed smirk. Good ole innocent Vega. I waited a moment before continuing, forcing any trace of the smirk from my face. "I was fucking Beck, and I didn't want to, but I did because I thought that if I could do that, then maybe I could forget about you. But I couldn't. The entire time, I was wishing that it was you who was there. Not Beck. Not anyone else. You." I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "And that scared me so much. It still does. I mean, for fuck's sake, we're not even friends!"

"We…we're not friends?" I heard her whisper next to me, and even though I knew I had said that same statement plenty of times in the past, I instantly regretted it. The hurt in her voice was controlled, nothing more than a slight crack, but it was still there nonetheless.

"I…I don't know." I looked over at her and found that she was looking at me too. "Are we?"

"I mean, I thought we were. Aren’t we?” I could see a tinge of wetness in her eyes and I forced myself to look away. I didn’t know what I would do if she started crying.

“Vega, we’re constantly fighting and making it out to seem like we hate each other. That doesn’t exactly scream ‘friendship’. And I know that I’ve been _horrible_ to you, and I’ve treated you like utter garbage, but you’ve given plenty of it back too, and…” I laughed, shaking my head. “God, I’m not making my case here, am I?” I didn’t wait for her to respond. “I have no idea how we’ve reached this point, but we did. We did, and I hate myself for it and I have no idea what to do, but I know that I don’t want to have to do it without you.” I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice from cracking. “But I will if I have to. I’ll go back to Beck and pretend like nothing ever happened. But I don’t want to.”

Another moment of deafening silence. I was about to say something, anything, just to break the quiet when I felt the bed shift. I looked over at her and found that she had propped herself up on her elbow so she could look at me, and her eyes were dry. "I don't want you to do that, either,” she said, her words slow and careful. "I really don't. But I don't want to hurt Beck, either."

"Neither do I. But…."

"You don't want to break up with him, either?" she finished for me, waiting for me to nod before continuing. "I can get that. He's your rock, right? But, where does that leave us?"

"It leaves us right here, right now." I twisted so I was on my side as well, my hand resting on the pillow next to my face. "He doesn't need to know."

Her eyebrows shot up. “You’d really do that?”

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to say yes, and lean in close to her and kiss her again and hold her close and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but instead I shook my head. “No.”

“Okay.” She bit her lip, her brow furrowing. “So, what do we do? It’s not like we can just go and tell him that you’re dumping him for the girl who, as you said, isn’t even your friend.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “To be fair, I don’t remember saying that I was planning on dating you, either.”

Her face fell, and I immediately regretted my poor attempt at a joke. “Hey, Vega, I was kidding. I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

She reached over and shoved my shoulder, almost knocking me onto my back. “You’re not funny. Not even a little bit.”

“Yeah, well, sorry. I’m still kinda freaking out, okay?” I laid back down and stared up at her ceiling again. “I have to tell him, don’t I.”

I didn’t have to look over at her to know that she was nodding. “Yeah. Even if you don’t decide to, you know, ‘date’ me or anything, you should probably still tell him.”

“Well, shit.”

I felt her hand close around mine, and I glanced over at her, our eyes meeting as she rubbed her thumb against the back of my hand reassuringly. “I can go with you, if you want.”

I didn’t respond for a moment, taking the time to seriously think about what I was about to do. But, even as I tried to calmly think it over, I knew it was hopeless. I had crossed a line and there was no going back now. So, I squeezed her hand and leaned in closer so that I could press my lips against hers’.

I knew she was surprised, but her lips moved against mine all the same, and I made my decision. And so when she pulled back to take a breath, I swallowed hard and sat up so I could swing my legs back onto the floor.

“Let’s do this, Vega.”


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sorry, but I think you'll have to repeat that for me." Beck said, staring at me. "You _what_?”

I cast my eyes down towards the floor, unable to look him in the eye. “You heard me. I kissed Tori.”

He stood up, turning away from me. “This has to be some kind of sick joke, right?” He leaned over his bed so that he could access his window, fingers pulling the blinds apart so he could see outside. “Tori's going to jump in here at any moment with a camera or something, like on Punk'd?”

“Beck.”

Something in my tone caused him to pause, and I felt my heart sink as he slowly let go of the blinds and straightened. “Jade, tell me that you're joking.”

I swallowed hard, trying to force the lump in my throat to disappear. “I can't.”

In the years that I had known him and dated him, I had never been afraid of Beck Oliver. He had always treated me well, with gentle hands and kind words and tender touches. But when he turned around and I saw the look in his eye, my blood ran cold. “You kissed Tori?”

I scooted backwards on the couch, trying to get as far away from him as I could without being obvious about it. “Yes.”

Beck stared at me, and I saw his hands clench into fists at his sides. “You _hate_ Tori.”

“Yeah, that's what I thought, too.” I couldn't keep the nervous chuckle from escaping my lips. “Guess I was wrong.”

He stood there for a minute, and the silence grew heavy between us. I could feel his gaze burning my skin, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him, or even to move. I had never seen Beck this angry before. Waves of silent rage were pouring off of him and I knew- just _knew_ \- that if I dared meet his eye I would be drowned in it. And so I sat, and he stood, and the air grew thick with his hate.

“I always thought you would cheat on me with some guy you found at a concert or a bar,” he said, his voice breaking through the silence. His tone was cold and unfamiliar and I immediately missed the quiet. The laugh he gave was worse, though, and it sent shivers running down my spine. “But no. You cheated on me with _Tori Vega_ of all people.”

“Beck...”

“Shut up,” he said, and I did. He turned his head, looking towards the window again. “Is she out there?”

I wanted to lie. I really did. But then his eyes were back on me and my heart ached and I found myself nodding.

A muscle twitched in his jaw. “You've accused me of liking her ever since she started going to Hollywood Arts.” He shook his head, laughing again. “You accused _me_ of wanting to cheat on _you_.”

“Beck, I...”

“Do you even have any _idea_ how fucking ridiculous this is?” Another peal of laughter came tumbling past his lips, and the knot in my stomach grew tighter.“Jesus, you are such a hypocritical _bitch_.”

“Beck, please,” I whispered, and he stopped laughing. I swallowed again, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I didn't ever mean to hurt you.”

His eyes darkened. “Fuck you.”

“I'm serious.” I forced myself to rise to my feet, trying to hide the tremble in my knees as I did so. I started to reach out for his arm, but he stepped back out of my reach, and so I shoved my hands inside the pockets of my jeans instead. “I've never wanted to hurt you.”

“Did you fuck her?”

“What?” I stared at him, certain that I had misheard what he said. But the look on his face let me know that I hadn't, and I felt the familiar burn of rage coursing through my veins. “Of course not! How could you ever think that I would have?”

“Well, let's see! You just admitted that you cheated on me, for god knows _how_ long, with the girl that you _hate_! What else am I _supposed_ to think, Jade?!”

“You're supposed to know me better than that!” I yelled, stepping forward. He moved back, the backs of his knees hitting the edge of his mattress. “For fuck's sake, Beck, I can't _believe_ you would think I would ever do that to you!”

“But yet you had no problem kissing her, did you?! You had no problem doing that, even though you knew that it meant destroying our relationship! And you sure as fuck didn't have a problem with waltzing in here and breaking my heart!”

A million different replies flooded into my head, each one nastier than the last, and I could practically taste the poison on my lips as the words tried to form. But then I met his eyes again and saw the pain shining behind them and I found that I couldn't speak.

Silence fell between us again, and I felt the corners of my eyes prickle with tears that I wiped away as quickly as they could form.

“You need to leave,” he said a few minutes later. His tone lacked the ice that it had before, and I had a feeling that if I took a closer look I would find that his eyes were as damp as mine. But I didn't.

Instead, I turned and made my way to the door. My hand curled around the handle, ready to push it open, but I hesitated when I realized that I had more that I needed to say, even if he didn't want to hear it. “I'm sorry. Please don't hate her. None of this is her fault.”

He didn't respond, so I continued. “She and I...I don't know what we're doing, but I'm pretty sure that we're not telling anyone. Not yet.” I glanced back at him, hoping that he would pick up on the plea that I was too afraid to make.

I watched him sit down on the edge of his bed, watched as he held his head in his hands so that I couldn't see his face. But I could still see his shoulders shake with laughter before he spoke. “Don't worry, _dear_. I'm not going to out you.”

There was venom in his words, but not enough to make me doubt his sincerity. I turned the handle, cracking the door just slightly before pausing again. “Beck?”

He grunted in response.

“I love you.”

It was a lie, or at least, it felt like one, but it slipped past my lips anyway before I could take it back. And from the scoff I heard behind me, it was the wrong thing to say.

“Get out.”

I obeyed, letting the door slam shut behind me.

* * *

I had asked Tori to wait in my car while I talked to Beck. She had offered to come in with me, but I turned her down. And as I exited the trailer, I knew that I had made the right call. I have no idea what I would have done if she had been there and felt the rage in the air or heard the accusations he made

_(even if some of them were true)_

or seen the look on his face when he realized _who_ I had cheated on him with.

She looked up as I approached, but didn't get out of the car. I opened the driver's door and slid inside. I had left the car on while I was in his trailer so that she could listen to the radio, so all I had to do was quickly buckle my seatbelt and shift into drive before I was able to drive us out of there, eager to get as far away from Beck and his home as fast as I could.

I had expected her to say something, anything, but she didn't, not right away. It took at least five minutes and a mile or two of distance before she finally spoke.

“How did it go?”

It was a simple question, but it was that very simplicity that made me start to laugh, softly at first but growing stronger and louder until I had to pull off onto the shoulder of the highway so that I didn't get us into an accident.

“Jade?” Tori's voice rang in my ear. A hand was on my shoulder, but I barely noticed it as I continued to shake with laughter. Then there was a hand on the side of my face, fingers gently turning my head so that I was looking at her, and my giggles started to fade as I watched her eyes grow wide. The laughter died completely when I realized that my cheeks were wet.

“Oh,” I whispered, and that seemed to just make more tears fall. I tried to turn away, but Tori's palm was still on my cheek and her touch was so soft and I found myself leaning into it instead of continuing to pull away.

“He uh...” I tried to swallow, but my throat was too dry and so I laughed again, just once. “He didn't take it well.”

“Did he hurt you?” she asked, and I shook my head quickly.

“No. He would never.”

She studied my face for a moment, then let her hand fall into her lap. I missed it almost immediately, but I tried not to let it show. “He's angry with us?”

I chuckled humorlessly. “Understatement of the year.” I reached up and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt before I turned my attention back to the road. I took the car out of park and merged back onto the highway, ignoring the angry honk that came from the car I cut off. “Understandable, really. I _did_ cheat on him. That kind of thing tends to upset most people.”

“All we did was kiss, though,” she murmured.

I glanced over at her, eyebrows raised. “Is that all?”

She rolled her eyes. “That came out wrong. I just...didn't think he'd be that angry about it, I guess. Or I hoped he wouldn't be.”

“Yeah, well...” I flicked my turn signal on, slowing down so that I could make the right-hand turn easier. “He was.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over us, and I tried to focus on the road instead of on the thoughts swirling in my head that threatened to overwhelm me.

We were only a few blocks away from her house when she spoke again.

"Did we just make a mistake?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

The streetlight up ahead of us turned yellow. I didn't slow down; rather, I pressed my foot firmly against the gas pedal and sent us propelling through the intersection just as the light turned red. "If you're having second thoughts now, Vega, I may just have to kill you."

"I didn't say I was having second thoughts. I just asked if we made a mistake."

"That's basically the same thing." I flicked the turn signal on again, veering left.

"No, it's not.” She paused, thinking. “Second thoughts would mean that I don't want to do this, and trust me-” She reached out and rested her hand on my leg. “I want to do this.” Her hand pulled away again, though I could still feel the heat of her palm lingering on my skin. “Making mistakes, though, would mean that we maybe could have done this differently.”

"Oh." I pulled the car into her driveway and shifted it into park. "Then yeah, we definitely made a _huge_ mistake." I turned so that I faced her, undoing my seatbelt as I went. "But, I don't think that this- whatever the hell we're doing- is a mistake.” I paused, growing nervous when she didn't meet my gaze. “Right?”

She shook her head slowly. "No. I don't think so." She finally looked at me, the deep brown of her irises even darker in the night. "Will Beck be alright?"

"Truthfully?" I shrugged. "I don't know. He seriously didn't react well.”

She sighed, sinking lower into her seat. "I didn't want to hurt him."

"Neither did I. But I did.”

She nodded, though I'm not sure if it was in agreement or acknowledgment. "Are you okay?"

The question surprised me, though it took me a moment to figure out why. Tori had asked me that question so many times before, to the point of annoyance, but this time felt different.

This time, it felt like my answer actually mattered.

"Probably not. I mean, I did just break up with my boyfriend of several years.”

Her brow furrowed in worry, and it prompted me to continue. Anything to get her to stop looking at me like that. “But, I will be.” I paused. "Are you?"

She thought about it, then nodded. "I think so."

"Good." I sat back in my seat, and exhaled slowly. "So. What do we do now?"

Tori laughed, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her shake her head. "Oh god, I have no idea."

"Cool, because neither do I." The corners of my lips tugged upwards, a grin forming despite my best efforts to prevent it. "But, we can figure that out later, right?"

"I guess so.” She smiled too, and turned to look at me with an expression that I had never seen on her face before; at least, not an expression she ever had whilst looking at me. An expression of hope. "Can I kiss you now?"

“I thought you'd never ask.”

And then her lips were on mine and I tried to let myself forget about Beck's broken heart, if just for a moment.

* * *

The next day came far quicker than I expected. Far quicker than I wanted.

I had left Tori at her house the previous night, but not until after we tried to figure out what we were going to do next. We decided that we would keep it a secret for a while, and not only for our own sake. Parading around in front of Beck would just be cruel, and besides, neither of us were ready to be out like that. Not yet, at least. We knew that although we weren't particularly concerned with labels, it didn't mean that everyone else wouldn't be.

Truth be told, I think we might have been a little scared.

But that just left us right where we started. Hidden. But it was safe, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a little bit excited about the thought of secretly dating Tori Vega. Or whatever it was that we were about to start doing.

I didn't tell anyone that I broke up with Beck, and I honestly didn't think that he would tell anyone, either. But, when I walked through the doors to Hollywood Arts that morning, I could tell that they knew. Everyone already knew.

Fuck.

It was silent, and all eyes were pointedly averted to any direction other than where I stood. A few brave souls peeked at me when they thought I wasn't looking, and I didn't bother to call them out on it. Why should I?

For once, there was no one waiting by my locker. No Beck with a coffee in hand. No Cat with a fresh story of sibling fuckery to tell. No one.

Normally, I would have been relieved. But this time, it served only as further evidence that the news of our breakup had permeated throughout the school. And that made me uneasy.

But I forced my nerves aside and went about gathering my textbooks before I shut my locker, glared at a few freshmen, and went to my first class.

* * *

You would think that after the first few hours of it, I would have gotten used to the staring and the whispers, but by the time the bell rang for lunch, I found that they were still managing to royally piss me off.

I stood in line at Festus' truck, waiting for the Ginger Fox-wannabe in front of me to hurry up and order her burrito. I had never seen anyone move so goddamn slow. I mean, seriously, how hard was it to order a fucking burrito? Apparently far too difficult for this chick, who kept droning on and on to Festus about how she wanted guacamole, but made without avocado.

Behind me, I could hear a bunch of guys whispering to each other. They spoke too low for me to hear everything, but I could hear a few choice snippets. Judging by what I could understand, they had this idea in their heads that since I was single now, I would be up for a night of fun and fucking with them. Fat chance. But I didn't want to get into a fight with a bunch of meatheads. Well, I mean, I kind of did, but I had learned to pick my battles. And besides, Tori would probably be pissed if I got suspended.

 _God_ it was weird to give a single fuck about what Tori would think.

I turned my attention back to the girl in front of me, who apparently still hadn't successfully ordered her burrito. Between her and the fuckholes behind me, my patience was wearing a bit thin.

I pushed her aside and stepped in front of Festus' counter. "I'll take a bean and cheese burrito. Extra sour cream on the side."

"Hey!" exclaimed the girl I had cut in front of. "You can't just…"

I turned my head, and gave her my patented DoNotFuckWithMe glare. She shrunk back, muttering apologies, and I smirked. Smart girl.

"One burrito. Two fifty," Festus said, sliding a tray across the counter towards me. I reached into my bag, pulling out my wallet. I plucked three singles out of the billfold and handed them to him before I grabbed my food and walked away. If he bothered to make change, I never knew, nor cared. But I doubt that he did.

A few moments later, I was sliding onto the bench of our group's customary lunch table. No one else was there yet, which was fairly odd, but I tried not to pay much attention to it.

I was halfway through my burrito before they finally showed up.

They came as a group, which wasn't weird. What _was_ weird was that every single one of them, except for Tori, looked like they were about to piss themselves in fear. Tori just looked like she was trying not to burst out laughing. Strange.

She sat down across from me, her tray bouncing off the plastic table as she set it down. "Hey, Jade."

I could hear the group take a collective deep breath, and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as our eyes met. She just shook her head and broke her gaze when she looked down at her food, trying to hide the smile spreading across her face.

I turned my attention to the rest. "Are you guys going to sit down, or were you planning on standing around like a bunch of monkeys all day?"

Robbie was the first to jump into action, scrambling onto the bench before the others could. I'm pretty sure he was motivated by his fear, though, since I could see Rex shaking as Robbie tried to still his tremors. Cat came next, sliding next to him, her bubbly exterior masking at least some of the nerves that Robbie failed to conceal. Then it was Andre, who sat next to Tori. Out of the three, he looked the least concerned, though there was a definite look of confusion in his eyes. Their trays quickly took up most of the room on top of the table, but they were careful to keep them from touching my own tray.

After a few more moments filled with silence and awkward glances, I decided that I had had enough. "Is someone going to tell me what's up, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?"

"Is it true that you and Beck broke up?" Cat finally asked, the speed of her words almost too fast for me to actually understand what she had said.

"Yeah, Kitty-Cat. We broke up." I took another bite of my burrito, chewing slowly. "Is that all?"

"Is it true that you were cheating on him with Ryder Daniels?" was Cat's next question. I glanced up at her, then side-eyed Tori, who was shaking softly with hidden laughter. I looked back at Cat.

"No, and I don't know where you got that idea, but it's definitely wrong."

"Is it true that you turned into a dyke?" asked Rex.

"Rex!" Robbie exclaimed, clapping a hand over the puppet's mouth. He looked at me, the fear in his gaze multiplying by an infinite amount. "He didn't mean that, he didn't…"

I fought every urge I had to look at Tori and instead glared at the frightened boy next to me. "No. And if you don't want your hand permanently sewn to the inside of that puppet's guts, I wouldn't use that slur around me again."

Robbie nodded, head bobbing up and down at an incredible speed. Cat reached over and pulled Rex off of his hand, setting him down on the bench between them.

"Is that it?" I asked, looking around the table. When they nodded, I asked my next question. "Where's Beck?"

"Skipped." Andre replied, a touch of bitterness in his voice. "Told me he didn't feel like dealing with post break-up bullshit."

"Smart." I took the final bite of my burrito, wiping my hands with a napkin. "If that's all, I think I'm going to go." I stood up, grabbing my tray. "Vega!"

Tori looked up at me, a mixture of amusement and surprise in her eyes. I felt a smile pulling at my lips, but fought it back, just barely managing to remain stone-faced. "Come with me. I want to figure out when we're going to film our project for Sikowitz."

"I'm still eating.”

"So?"

"So, I want to finish eating,” she replied, poking her salad with her fork for emphasis.

"And I want a million dollars. We don't always get what we want." I began to walk away, heading towards the trashcans. I could hear her sigh behind me, followed by the shuffle of her getting off of the bench.

"Girl, you just said you wanted to finish eating!" I could hear Andre say to her. I tipped my tray over the trashcan, ears perked for her answer.

"Yeah, well, she's right, we do need to get that figured out," Tori replied. I turned around and watched as she walked towards me. She grabbed her salad off of her tray before dumping the rest into the trashcan.

"I'll come, but I'm eating on the way,” she said, frowning at me. I just grinned and started walking back towards the school. I could hear her footsteps behind me, becoming sharper and more pronounced as she quickened her pace to catch up to me.

"So, what's this really about? We decided on a date for filming last night, remember?" Tori asked once we were out of earshot, following me through the door to the school.

"You'll see in a minute." I glanced around, eyes darting down the hallways, making sure there was no one wandering about. "Okay, coast is clear." I reached forward and twisted the doorknob to the janitor's closet, pushing it open. "Inside."

"What?" Tori's eyes grew wider. "Jade…"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed her hand, being careful to grab the one that didn't have the salad in it. I pulled her inside and shut the door behind us, making sure to turn the lock so it was latched.

"Jade, what are we doing here?" Tori asked, a familiar touch of fear in her voice. I couldn't really blame her. It was a dark closet, and I was a girl who was well known to carry scissors on her person at all times.

I grabbed the salad out of her hand and set it on one of the many shelves that surrounded us. "I have spent all day being stared at, whispered at, and just all-around gawked at by the entire student body. Excuse me if I wanted to spend some time with you alone." I pretended to sound hurt, and judging by Tori's reaction, I was pretty convincing.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't even…" she began, but I cut her off by leaning closer and kissing her. She was surprised, but after only a second she began to kiss me back, her lips parting slightly.

I pulled back after a moment to take a breath. “Is this okay?” I whispered. She nodded, and I grinned as I pushed her back against the wall, careful not to hit our heads on any shelving. My hand wrapped around the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair as our lips met again and again. Eventually, my lips left hers and moved down to suck lightly on her pulse point. She gasped, but I ignored it and let my other hand move down over her ass, feeling firm muscle underneath her jeans.

“Jesus,” she breathed, and when I let my teeth graze over her skin, I felt one of her hands fist the front of my shirt while the fingers of her other hand gripped my shoulder tight. “Jade...”

“Yeah?” I whispered, pressing my lips to the edge of her collarbone.

“Someone might see us!”

I rolled my eyes and moved my lips back up to hers for a moment before replying. "Where's your sense of adventure, Vega?" I didn't wait for her to answer. "I locked the door. Don't worry."

"Still, we're going to be late for class, and our friends will worry, and…." She was practically stammering.

"Vega, I'm not planning on going to class for the rest of the day." I said, and pulled away from her. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall, and looked up at her. "I'm planning on sitting here, either making out with you, or cutting up trashcans." I pulled my scissors out of my waistband and waved them emphatically. "No matter what, I'm staying here. You don't have to though, if you don't want to."

Her eyes followed the scissors as I waved them. "So, you're saying that if I don't stay here and keep kissing you, you're going to vandalize the janitor's trashcans again?"

"Basically." I didn't bother to hide the grin on my face. "So, what'll it be?"

"Well…I guess if it's to prevent you from destroying school property..." she smiled and knelt down next to me. “I guess I'll keep kissing you."

"Smart choice." I pulled her forward, the scissors dropping from my hand. "A very smart choice."

"Oh, shut up,” She said before kissing me gently.

"Vega's being feisty today, huh?" I murmured against her lips. "I like that."

"Good." She replied, kissing me again. "Because there's a lot more where that came from."

* * *

If our friends missed us, they never said, because when we stumbled out of that closet at the end of the day, they were already gone, and the school was deserted.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

And so it went.

The days passed, and our friend group slowly slid back into some semblance of normalcy. Beck came back to school after two days, and although he refused to so much as look at me, our friends didn't seem to notice. Though, I guess they might have just been trying to stay out of it much as possible. The harder part was trying to cover for the fact that he also refused to acknowledge Tori. I knew it ate at her every time she tried to say hi to him, or every time she waved at him from across the Asphalt Cafe only to have him turn his back towards her. Every time I asked her if she was okay, though, she would smile that bright smile of hers and reassure me that she was fine before she would cut off any follow-up questions with a kiss that tended to leave me breathless.

On day four, I realized that I had never actually asked Tori to be my girlfriend, and although I really don't care about labels, I thought that maybe she would. And so I asked her, and she said yes, and it was official.

Not that anyone was going to know about it anytime soon, which was fine with us. It gave us time to explore our relationship without our friends butting in constantly, or our classmates staring at us, or for anyone else's expectations to matter. We were able to just be _us_. We could still bicker with each other at lunch and pretend like we didn't feel the other's hand slipping into our own and if we happened to disappear into a janitor's closet every now and then, all it took was a few staged shouts and our friends bought into the narrative that I was just threatening her in there. And then we could go back to her house and watch shitty Disney movies and just spend hours wrapped up in each other.

It was _exhilarating._

But then we were forced to acknowledge that the due date for Sikowitz's assignment was growing closer and closer each day and as much as it pained Vega and I to do much more than make out all the time, we realized that we had to film our movie or else we were going to fail.

Because of that, we found ourselves in the Black Box Theatre, with a single video camera, a few props, and an over-excited Robbie Shapiro, who had agreed to film us in exchange for five bucks and a case of Peppy Cola.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Robbie asked, inspecting his camera for the fiftieth time. "I have to be in Northridge by six, and I'd…"

I held up my hand and stopped him midsentence. "Wait, you have to be in Northridge? What's in Northridge that could possibly be of interest to you, Shapiro?"

A deep red spread across his cheeks, and he instantly reverted back to the normal, bumbling Robbie that we knew. "Oh, I…nothing important…"

"I have a date with a couple of Northridge girls!" Rex piped up. "And I don't want to be late, so get to work, woman!"

My eyes narrowed to slits. Robbie, whose entire face was now a lovely shade of crimson, met my eyes for a moment and that moment was all it took for him to immediately rip the puppet off of his hand and set him in a chair next to him, mumbling apologies as he did so.

"Did I miss something?" Tori asked, tying her hair up in a ponytail as she walked in from backstage. She turned her head, eyes meeting mine, a smile tugging at both our lips for a moment before the stoic and irritated looks that we were so familiar with making returned to both of our faces.

I shook my head. "Not much, just Shapiro and his dumbass puppet making an ass out of themselves. Nothing new."

"Hey! I resent that!" Robbie cried out.

"And I resent the fact that I'm stuck doing this project with Vega. So, if you don't mind, can you turn on the camera so we can actually get this fucking thing done and I can finally go back to a life where I _don't_ have to be around either one of you?"

"Must you swear?" Tori muttered while glaring at me, her arms crossed tight across her chest. I just stuck my tongue out at her and winked when I knew Robbie wasn't looking. She rolled her eyes and took her place in the seat we had set behind the metal table on the stage. "Seriously Robbie, can we just start already so I can get away from tall, dark, and evil here?"

Oh, that was cold. And feisty. I liked it. And she knew it, based on the glint in her eyes and the grin that she shot me when Robbie looked back down at his camera.

"Just one more second, Toro!" Robbie replied, fidgeting with his camera again. I watched Tori's nose scrunch up at the use of the nickname that Sikowitz had given her, and I couldn't blame her. I sure wouldn't want my nickname to be the name of a fatty tuna. "One more second…and I'm good! You two ready?"

"Been ready for over an hour, Shapiro," I replied, but turned around to double-check once more that we had our props set up correctly.

"Okay then!" He bent down, finger poised above the record button. "On the count of five! Five…four…three…."

"Just hit the button!" both Tori and I said, voices mixing into a singular command. Robbie nodded, head bobbing up and down at a ferocious pace. His finger pressed the button.

And just like that, Tori and I fell into our respective roles.

I stood on the opposite side of the table from where she sat, glaring at her. "Tell me where you hid the bodies, and you just might get a sentence that won't result in your execution."

"I'm not telling you anything,” Tori replied, her voice cold and bitter. "Go to hell!"

I began to walk around the table, circling like a buzzard eyeing up its' dinner. "Ms. Harrison, we know that you murdered your husband. We know you murdered his mistress. You're not getting out of this."

There was silence for a moment, then a terse reply that was careful and calculated. "You don't know anything. You're lying."

I leaned down, my face dangerously close to hers. "You know that I'm not." I let the moment hang a bit longer before I straightened back up and walked back around the table so that I was facing her again. "If you don't tell me what I want to know, I will make your life miserable."

"Let me go. You have no reason to hold me here." The look in Tori's eyes was pure anger, which wasn't an emotion that I was used to seeing on her. At least, not lately. I knew it was just her character, and not actually her, but it was still so incredibly _hot._ If feisty Vega got me turned on, angry Vega just escalated it to a whole new level.

I pulled a bunch of photographs out of my jacket, throwing them down onto the table. "Look here! There are photographs that have you at the scene, with a knife in your hand, and blood splattered all over your clothes! There are your clothes right there, covered in the blood of your husband and his mistress! What more of a reason do we need?"

Tori's lips twitched up in a small, sick smile that would have caused a shiver to run down the spine of any sane person. "Well, a body would help."

I gritted my teeth and let the frustration and rage of my character flood over me. Insolent little punk thought she could act that way? Hell no. Not in _my_ precinct.

I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her out of her chair, shoving her against the wall of the theater face-first. I grabbed her wrists and wrenched her arms behind her back, being careful not to actually hurt Tori as I did. "You filthy little…" I pulled a pair of handcuffs out of my pocket and began to lock them onto her wrists. "You're a monster."

"Am I?" All of a sudden, she kicked back, her foot hitting my shin. I found myself thankful, and not for the first time, that Tori had finally gotten the hang of stage fighting because otherwise that would have hurt like a bitch. I started to go down but she grabbed me and slammed me into the wall. "Forgive me if I disagree."

I pretended to struggled against the hands that held me against the wall. "Release me!"

Tori cocked her head, pretending to think about it. "Hmm….you know, I'd really rather not."

I tensed beneath her grip, preparing myself for attack. "I said…release me!" I kicked out, foot hitting her knee. She crumpled behind me, her hands falling from my shoulders.

I turned and bent down, grabbing the collar of her shirt before I pulled her to her feet. I pushed her back against the wall and pulled the prop gun from out of its holster on my belt. I held it to her head, my other hand against her throat. "You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer, and for the murders of Ronald Harrison and Jane Hoffa. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you…"

She started laughing, slow at first, and quiet, to the point where I could hardly hear her, but it grew and grew into a cold and hysterical cackle that echoed throughout the theater. "You may want to change those charges a bit, officer,” she said, her lips curling into a wide, heartless smile.

I stopped reciting the Miranda Warning and stared at her, the gun in my hand quivering just ever so slightly. "And what exactly should I change them to, Ms. Harrison?"

"Well," she began, the smile on her face growing even wider. "You charged me with two murders. You should be charging me with three."

"Three?" I asked, before I saw her hand whip out from behind her back. There was a flash of silver and then the cold press of metal against my stomach. I felt the false blade push back into the handle, and I fell to my knees, triggering the release of the packet of fake blood strapped to my abdomen as I went. It quickly spread over my clothing and the floor, turning the stark white of my uniform crimson. I bit down on the capsule of red food coloring that I had hid under my tongue, and began to cough, the "blood" spattering the top of my shirt.

Tori bent down over me, the knife still held in her hand. "Yes, Officer. Three. Ronald Harrison, Jane Hoffa…and _you_." She started to laugh again, breaking off only when Robbie yelled for the scene to end.

"And that's a wrap!" Robbie exclaimed, bringing his head up from behind the camera. "Nice job, girlies!"

I sat up, coughing out the last of the food coloring in my mouth. "Is the footage good enough, then?"

"It should be. I mean, I'll need to edit it a bit, and maybe play around with the lighting too," Robbie rambled. "But yeah, I think it'll be good enough. It was pretty cool to watch, too! I mean, having Tori as a psycho killer? That's just so weird! Like, I always thought it would be Jade who would go insane and kill everyone, not Tori, and…"

I turned my head and tried to tune him out. I glanced over at Tori, who seemed just as bored as I was with Robbie's ramblings.

"Hey Shapiro!" I finally yelled, and he immediately stopped talking and looked up at me, his eyes wide and fearful. "Get out of here. Take Rex and go on your date with your Northridge skanks."

"But, don't you need help cleaning up?" He gestured towards me. "It takes a proper amount of detergent and warm water to get fake blood out of stuff, and…"

I stared at him, waiting for him to shut up. "Robbie. Leave." He stood there for a moment longer, and I narrowed my eyes. " _Now."_

He jumped into action when he heard the dangerous tone in my voice, immediately reaching over and grabbing Rex off the chair he had placed him on, before grabbing the camera and tripod. "Okay! If you need anything, just…"

"Get out of here!" I yelled, and he just nodded and scurried off as quickly as he could.

I heard giggles come from above me, and looked up to see Tori laughing, her hand held over her mouth to conceal her smile. "What are you laughing about, Vega?"

She looked down at me and let her hand drop to her side, exposing the grin on her face. "You're just so cute when you scare people."

"Cute? I don't do _cute."_

"If you say so." She held out her hand, waiting for me to grab it so she could help me to my feet. I did, but as soon as I was up, I pulled her into a gigantic embrace. I felt the packet of blood squish against our stomachs, squirting out even more fake blood. This time, though, it wasn't just on me.

"Jade!" Tori exclaimed, struggling to pull out of my hug. "You're getting my clothes all bloody!"

I rolled my eyes, and pulled her to me again, pressing my lips against hers. When I pulled back, there was fake blood on her face as well. "I personally think that blood is a good look on you, Vega.”

She glared at me, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before she glanced down at her shirt, which was now damp with blood. "You are such a gank."

"I know." I grinned, and licked my lips. "But you love it."

Tori crossed her arms, her lower lip jutting out in a pathetic little pout. "No, I don't."

I leaned in closer to her, pressing my lips against the corner of her mouth. "Yes, you do."

She shook her head, defiant to the end. "Nope."

I rolled my eyes, moving my lips so that they were fully on top of hers again. A small peck. "Yes."

"Nope." All of a sudden, I found myself being pushed down on the floor again, landing in the puddle of blood that I had left behind on the stage. Tori landed on top of me, her mouth immediately finding mine. The ferocity I had seen in the eyes of her character transformed into the ferocity of her lips, moving against mine with such a force that I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her to pull her closer.

And then she was gone, rolling off of me and onto her knees. She sprung to her feet and grinned down at me. I just blinked, surprised by the sudden lack of her body against mine.

"I win,” she said, sticking her tongue out for good measure. "Now let's get going and clean up this mess."

I just shook my head, confused and quite frankly, more than a bit turned on.

After a moment, I stood up and joined Tori in beginning the clean-up process. It took a while to get done though, because let me tell you, fake blood is a bitch to get out of wood. But, we did eventually finish. And then, of course, we had to strip out of our clothes because we were soaked in blood. And of course, being shirtless is a really great segue into making out. There really was no other option.

And even if there was, who the fuck cared? It wasn't like anyone could see us anyway.

* * *

A few hours later, we found ourselves back at the Vega household, confined to Tori's room. We were pretending to be working on the video project, but in reality, we were doing anything _but_ working on schoolwork. It was simply a matter of needing a cover story for any nosy people ( _*cough*_ Trina _*cough_ *) who couldn't keep their nose out of our business.

I wish I could say that we were instead up to some kind of devious sexual act, but I would be lying. Instead, Tori had managed to convince me to play what was quickly becoming my favorite card game of all time, if only because I was kicking her ass in it.

"Got any threes?" Tori asked, holding her cards up close to her face, her eyes peeking over the edges.

I shook my head, an amused grin growing on my face. "Go fish!"

"Arggggg!" she exclaimed, reaching out to the pile of cards. "You suck so much, you know that?"

I raised my eyebrows, bemused. "Trust me, I know." When she looked up at me with a surprised look in her eyes, I let my tongue slide over my lips suggestively. It took a few more moments for her to pick up on my meaning and to throw the pillow sitting next to her at my face. I caught it, unable to keep myself from laughing when I saw the blush on her face.

"You're just nasty," she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I know, I know." My grin grew wider as I waggled my eyebrows at her. "But you know you like it.”

She rolled her eyes but uncrossed her arms so that she could use index finger to push her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. "It's your turn. Are you going to go anytime soon?"

"You know, you look so adorable with those glasses on." Tori just glared at me, so I turned my attention to my cards with a sigh. "Got any fives?" I looked back up at her, meeting her eyes.

She kept her gaze steady for another moment, then glanced down at her cards. A scowl crossed her face as she pulled a five out of her hand and handed it to me. I took it and dramatically placed it in front of me, along with some other cards in my hand. Tori continued to glare at me, looking none too happy.

"This is a stupid game," she muttered, crossing her arms once more. "Let's play something else."

I laughed, leaning back against the headboard of her bed. "Aww, is wittle Tori Vega a sore loser?"

"No! I just don't want to play this stupid game anymore!"

I held my hands out in front of me, shaking my head. "Fine, fine! We'll play something else! Just chill out, okay?" I threw my cards onto the pile, and began to gather them back into their box. "Find another game."

A moment of silence. I could feel that her eyes were still aimed at me, even though I wasn't facing her. I finished putting the cards away, and looked back at her. "Something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No…I just can't think of another game."

I grinned, placing the box of cards on her bedside table. "I can think of a game we can play…."

"Are you about to say something gross? Because there's no way that I'm doing something gross."

"Oh, trust me." I moved closer to Tori, resting my hand on the top of her thigh. "There's nothing gross about what I'm thinking of…"

Tori squeaked (yes, squeaked, she literally fucking squeaked I swear to god), and shoved my hand away. "Jade!"

I laughed and laid down next to her, looking up at her. "You're such a prude, Vega."

"Am not!" There was a sudden shift of the bed, and before I could move, she was on top of me, holding my arms above my head. There was that old familiar look in her eye, that need to _win,_ and I would be lying if I said that it didn't make me a little nervous. But then her lips were on mine, and I just didn't care anymore. She could have quite literally murdered me right then and there, and I would have been okay with it. She was just that fucking good of a kisser.

After a moment, she lifted her head away and rolled off of me. I could hear her softly panting as she tried to catch her breath.

"Who's a prude now?" she gasped, chest rising and falling quicker than normal. I just rolled my eyes and reached out to pull her closer to me, kissing her with as much force as I could muster. She struggled for a moment, but then relaxed as I calmed down the level of intensity, moving into a slower, gentler kiss.

Of course, that calm was interrupted when I let my hand began to creep underneath her shirt. She shivered and pulled away from my lips just ever-so-slightly. "Jade…"

I pulled back, my hand stopping its ascent. “Do you want me to stop? All you have to do is say the word.”

I could see uncertainty in her eyes for just a moment before she shook her head and leaned up to kiss me again. “Your hands are cold,” she muttered against my lips, and I laughed.

“Sorry, but that's what you get for dating the Ice Queen.”

She rolled her eyes and kissed me again. “You're hardly the 'Ice Queen'. I've seen you tear up while watching Beauty and the Beast, remember?”

“Hey, I told you I didn't want to watch that movie, but you didn't listen!”

“Oh, would you just shut up and kiss me?” she demanded, and although I could have easily kept the banter going I swallowed my retort and leaned in to kiss her, finally letting my hand begin to move upwards again.

Her skin was warm underneath my fingertips as they traveled up her abdomen. I let them linger over her, tracing the ribs that could be felt underneath her skin, relishing the tremor that I felt run through her.

I let my tongue dart out and run over her lower lip and her mouth parted slightly, her tongue just barely hitting mine. My fingers disappeared under the soft cup of her bra, and she moaned into my mouth as I gently kneaded her breast.

_**Knock. Knock. Knock.** _

"Tori? Tori, honey, are you in there?"

We immediately froze, realization taking a moment to click in. But then it did, and I quickly removed my hand before I rolled off of Tori and moved back over to the complete opposite side of the bed. I grabbed a notebook and pen off of her bedside table and started to pretend to jot things down.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm here!" Tori yelled back, trying desperately to straighten her shirt, a hand running through her hair in a futile attempt to untangle it. "What do you need?"

The door opened, and Mrs. Vega stuck her head in, her eyes darting around the room. I could see her gaze settle on me for a moment, eyes narrowing just the slightest bit. And then she moved on, her gaze finding her daughter who was trying very hard to not look her mother in the eye. "Robbie's here. He said he needs to talk to you?”

 _Robbie? What would Robbie be doing here? He was supposed to be in Northridge._ I glanced over at Tori and could see the same thoughts running through her head, a frown on her lips.

"Uhm…okay. Send him up, I guess," Tori finally said, her hand idly scratching the top of her head. I could tell that she was trying to keep her cool, but it wasn't quite convincing enough.

Mrs. Vega kept looking at us for another moment longer, and I could see a combination of confusion and mistrust in her eyes as her gaze darted between the two of us. "Is everything alright, baby? Is there something wrong?"

Tori shook her head quickly. A little too quickly. "No! Nothing's wrong!" She smiled to emphasize her point, and I just tried not to wince.

Mrs. Vega frowned and backed out of the room. "Okay…I'll tell Robbie to come on up."

"Thanks!" Tori called after her, leaning so she could watch as her mother walked away. Once she was sure she was gone, she turned to me. "Oh my god, I can't believe she almost just walked in on us with your....”

I shook my head and held a finger to my lips. "Shh. Something's up. Robbie shouldn't be here." I sat up straighter, listening to the sound of footsteps coming up the staircase. "Just be cool, and quiet, and everything will be fine."

I could tell she didn't believe me, but since I didn't believe myself, I couldn't really blame her. But, she listened, and didn't say another word until Robbie was at the door.

"Uh…hey, guys!" he said, leaning against the doorframe. "Is it alright if I come in?" I noticed that he didn't have the puppet with him. Strange.

"Yeah, sure, come in," Tori said, her hands smoothing the front of her shirt again. I saw her glance over at me, but refused to meet her eye. I didn't like the feeling I had right then. There was seriously something up.

Robbie entered the room, shutting the door behind him. Yet another strange thing. I wasn't liking this one bit.

"What do you want, Shapiro?” I asked, glaring in his direction. “Aren't you supposed to be screwing around with a bunch of Northridge girls?”

He shook his head and stood in front of us. "No, Rex had the date, not me. He's with them now, actually." He began to sit down on the bed, then thought better of it when he saw the look that both Tori and I shot him. "And can't I just come over to hang out with my friends?"

"No," I replied as calmly as I could, but my words were still tinged with a hint of danger. "I'm not your friend."

"Well, maybe you should be, because…" He stopped himself, clapping a hand over his mouth. My eyes narrowed, and I swung my legs off the bed, stepping onto the floor. I walked closer to Robbie, my hands balling into fists.

"Because _what_ , Shapiro?" I growled, reaching up to grab his collar. In the corner of my eye, I could see Tori shake her head at me, but I ignored her and fisted the fabric in my hand so that he couldn't run.

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "Because…I know your secret."

_Secret? What secret? That Beck and I broke up? No, everyone knew that. That I was secretly a fan of certain chick flicks? Well, that was technically a secret, but there's no way he would know that. That I was dating Tori?_

_Tori. Shit._

I could see her stiffen out of the corner of my eye, and as the other stupid thoughts left my head, it left the certainty that somehow, someway, the scrawny boy I held in my grasp knew about me and Vega. I tried to remain calm, though, if only for her sake. "And what secret would _that_ be?"

"That you and Tori are together."

There was a blur in my peripheral vision, and before I could turn to see what it was, Tori was next to me, wrenching Robbie out of my grasp and into her own. "How?!" she yelled, her voice just low enough to hopefully not be heard by her mother. She shook him. "How did you find out?!" Robbie just squeaked in fear, trying to escape, but it was useless. Her grip wasn't going to be broken.

I gotta say, I really kind of wanted to just let Vega go at it, because quite frankly, it was pretty funny to watch Robbie squirm. But the look in her eyes scared me a bit, and if she ended up murdering him we would both go to prison and I would _not_ do well in prison. Not again. So, I reached over and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Vega." She didn't turn. "Tori, you need to calm down."

"No, I don't."

"Uhm, guys…" Robbie began.

"SHUT UP,” we both snapped. His mouth clamped shut, and he nodded quickly. I turned my attention back to Tori.

"Let go. I'll take care of it," I told her, trying to sound reassuring. Trying, mind you.

She looked at me, and it was then that I could see the fear in her eyes. I wondered if the same fear shone in mine, but brushed the thought away. Jade West didn't get scared. Especially not in front of whimpering dweebs like Robbie Shapiro.

I leaned in close to her, and whispered in her ear. "It'll be fine. Just let go, Tori."

Something in what I said must have gotten through to her, because she finally released him and sat back down on the bed. I nodded at her, then grabbed Robbie as he tried to scurry away. "Uh uh. You're not going anywhere, Shapiro. You've got some explaining to do."

I don't think I've ever seen the boy more afraid then he was at that second, and I'm still not sure who he was more afraid of: me, or my girlfriend. But, I guess it didn't matter.

"How. Did. You. Find. Out?" I asked again. When he shook his head, I tightened my grip on his collar, and pulled him just a bit closer. That was enough to cause him to start rambling.

"Well, okay, you see, after we finished filming, and Rex and I had left, I remembered that I had forgotten a piece of my equipment, so I came back, and when I did, I saw you two making out on the floor and you guys didn't hear me, and I didn't want to interrupt because Jade scares me, and so I ran out of there and left and I don't get what's going on, why is Jade with Tori and not Beck?" By the time he had finished the sentence, he was left panting for air and I was left staring at him and debating whether or not I could hit him.

I stared at him for another second before I glanced back at Tori, who was still looking rather wazzed off. I turned my attention back to Robbie. “Okay then. Well, it's none of your business why I'm with Tori, Shapiro." He started to open his mouth to say something, so I kept on going. "And obviously, if you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'm going to do things to you that you will never forget. They will involve toilets and broken glass. Bad things, Robbie. Very. Bad. Things. So, what are you _not_ going to do?"

"Say anything to anyone?" he mumbled. I nodded, and let go of him. He staggered back, rubbing his neck.

I sat down next to Tori, reaching over to grab her hand. I watched Robbie's eyes follow my movements, and glared at him. He blushed, looking away.

“Why did you come here, Rob?” Tori asked, her voice empty and low.

"Well, I honestly just came over here to see if you two really _were_ together, or if it was just a one-time thing….and I don't know," Robbie muttered, his eyes cast down at the floor.

"Did you think you could threaten us or something?" I asked. He shook his head quickly. "Then what?"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed. "I really don't know!" He shrunk back. "Just please don't hurt me, okay?"

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" Tori asked. A certain calm had entered her voice, and it surprised me.

"Oh yeah, definitely!” He paused. “Well, actually...you see…uh…Rex saw too, and…."

Tori's hand squeezed mine, her grip bordering on painful. "And _what,_ " she hissed.

"And….he may have told Cat."

_Oh Jesus fucking Christ are you fucking…._

"I'm going to kill you, Robbie!" Tori yelled before she jumped off of the bed and leapt at the obviously terrified boy. And this time, I was happy to let her, because if Cat knew, then it was pointless to stop Tori from ripping Shapiro into shreds. It wasn't like our secret was even going to be a secret anymore. Quite the opposite, really.

So, I sat back and watched as my girlfriend slapped the boy silly and tried not to worry about what our future was about to hold.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Now** _

* * *

And that brings us to the present.

Quite a bit of a story, huh? Angry, violence-prone girl breaks up with her boyfriend, hooks back up with him, only to figure out that she's really attracted to the girl she hated for over a year, and thus breaks up with him again to pursue said girl. Just another sappy love story, almost worthy of the crappy chick flicks that Tori loves to watch.

But there's a stark difference between those movies and this situation: this is our _life,_ and it's real, and now everyone is probably going to find out about us. And I know that shouldn't bother me, because I'm Jade-fucking-West and nothing bothers me, but it still does, and all I can think about is that it has to be bothering Tori, too.

But I'm not about to say anything to her, because the last thing I need is for her to become even more upset. So, I'm just going to lie here next to her until she either says something or we both die of starvation. The latter option seems to be the likelier one at this point.

Her family left a few minutes ago. They had stopped to say goodbye to us, of course, and we both managed to act like nothing was wrong. I mean, if we can do anything in this world, it's act, right? But as soon as they left, the masks disappeared and Tori collapsed onto the bed without a word and it's been like, almost twenty minutes at this point and-

"Fuck."

I turn my head so I'm facing her, my eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "Did you just drop the f-bomb?"

She ignores my question. "Cat's going to tell everyone, isn't she?"

I bite my lip, and that is answer enough. She groans, throwing an arm over her face. "Do you think…if we called and asked her…."

I shake my head. "No. You know how she is. She'd get all flustered, and accidentally tell people every chance she got. It'd be all “oh, I'm not supposed to talk about Tori or Jade...oh no, don't ask me about them! Definitely _don't_ ask about them secretly hooking up...oops!”” I watch her face, almost expecting her to smile, but she doesn't. “So yeah, no, that'd just make things worse."

_Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz._

Tori sits up, and reaches out for her phone, which is resting on her nightstand. I want to stop her, to tell her that she should just ignore it, but it's too late. She stares down at it for a moment, her finger swiping across the screen to open the text. She managed to keep her face expressionless, but her eyes betray her. There is worry in them, and then, as she reads the text, anger.

I sit up and hold out my hand. "May I?"

She hesitates a moment, then nods, dropping the phone into my open palm. I bring it closer to my face so I can see, and I immediately can tell why she's angry.

_You and Jade are dykes?_

I look at the source and am not overly surprised to see that it had been sent by Rex. Of course. I am going to absolutely _murder_ Robbie Shapiro.

The phone vibrates again, and as I open the latest text, I feel my own phone begin to buzz in my pocket. I ignore it though, and read the text on Tori's phone.

_Is it true? You know, what they're saying about you and Jade?_

This one was sent by Andre, and although I know that he means well, I can't help but feel a flash of irritation.

"Is this what they're all going to do?" Tori asks me, her voice just beginning to crack. "Are they really going to make a big deal out of this?"

I look at her, and I can see that the anger in her eyes has faded away into something that's almost fear. There are tears in her gaze, and I can tell that she's barely holding it together.

I reach out and wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to my body. "Ve…" I catch myself, then continue. "Tori. Do you remember the first time that Beck and I broke up?"

She nods in acknowledgment, so I go on. "Do you remember how crazy everyone acted? It was the hot topic for a few days, and everyone was all up in our business about it. I literally couldn't take a wazz without someone trying to ask me about it. But then, after a few days, it quieted back down and everyone moved on with their lives.”

"But they only stopped talking about it because you guys got back together." She pauses. "Because I helped you get him back."

"So? It's not like that's the only time he and I broke up. There was that time when we were apart for a few months. And people got over that, too." I take a small breath before continuing. "And that's the point. People will get over it. And if they don't…" I smile as wickedly as I can, hoping it will spark a grin on her face. "I'll just have to pay them a little visit. I don't carry scissors around just for show, after all."

That causes her to smile, if only a little bit. "You can't hurt anyone, Jade."

I stare at her for a moment, raising an eyebrow. "Well, you got to attack Robbie, so I think I deserve…"

Fuck. That was the wrong thing to say.

As soon as I mention Robbie, her smile vanishes, and her expression turns into one of pure guilt. "I shouldn't have slapped him. I mean, he was only telling us that he knew, and that he told Cat, and it wasn't really his fault, I mean, it is Robbie after all, he doesn't really have the social capacity to understand why telling us would make us angry, and really, he didn't have to tell us at all, and he could have just let us find out, and I…."

I pull her closer, my hand coming up to cup her face so that I can turn her towards me and silence her with a quick press of my lips to hers'. I taste salt, and guilt stabs me in the gut because I hadn't even realized she was crying. I pull back after a moment, after I feel her sigh against my lips, and hug her close. "Tori, chill out, okay? You were rambling."

She sighs again. I can feel her muscles begin to relax, and I urge them along a bit, rubbing my hand up and down her back gently as I hold her.

"I just feel so… _.guilty,_ " she whispers. "First I took you away from Beck. Now I hurt Robbie. What else am I going to do, Jade? What am I turning into?"

I move a bit so I can look at her properly, and when I do, I can see the tears streaking down her face. Normally, the sight of crying would make me uncomfortable. I was always taught that crying was a sign of weakness; that it was something that children did. But in this moment, I realize that there is nothing weak about Tori Vega, and her tears aren't a sign of being weak or childish. They're tears of fear and I'll be damned if I don't at least try to alleviate some of it.

"You're not turning into _anything,_ Tori," I begin, cupping her cheek with my palm. I carefully brush away her tears with my thumb, my eyes never leaving hers. "You've got nothing to feel guilty about. You didn't take me from Beck. Our relationship was failing, and I knew it already. It was my decision, and I don't regret it at all, not even for a single second. And Robbie? If you hadn't gotten to him first, I would have done far worse to him than you did. I'm not saying that violence is the answer or anything, but hey, it could have been a hell of a lot worse. Again, I carry scissors." I pause and smile, hoping to see her do the same. She doesn't. "So, please, don't feel guilty, okay?"

She nods after a few moments, and starts to pull away from me, but I don't let her. My other hand comes up to cup the other side of her face, and I lean in to kiss her again. There are still tears on her lips, but she's finally kissing me back and before I can react, she's pushing me down so that I'm lying flat on my back across her bed.

She's on top of me now, and I would be lying if I said that I'm not surprised. Or amazingly turned on. Odd how those two go together when it comes to her, huh?

Her lips leave mine, and as I take a shuddering breath, I watch as she grasps the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. She lets it drop, and I watch as it lands at the edge of the bed. And then my attention is back on her because her hands are traveling their way up my torso, and before I know any better, she has somehow gotten me out my own shirt as well. It joins hers' at the edge, and she's pushing me back down again.

"Tori?" I begin, before being silenced by her lips crashing against mine again. "To..Tori?" I murmur against her mouth, not offering up much resistance when I feel her tongue sweep over my bottom lip. God, she tastes amazing. She's sugar and there's that hint of spice I still can't place and it's so fucking amazing that I can't keep my eyes from sliding shut. But then she's pulling me up a bit so that my shoulderblades aren't touching the bedspread, and her hand is fumbling with the clasp of my bra.

I remove my lips from hers, and take a deep breath as she continues to undo the clasp. My arms begin to ache from holding myself up. "Tori, are you sure that this is a smart idea?"

She stops and looks at me. "And why the hell _wouldn't_ it be?"

Shit. Is she angry? She kind of looks angry.

"Because…." I have to choose my words carefully. "Because you're upset, and I'm not overly certain how far you're willing to take this relationship right now, and if you continue doing what you're doing…well, there's a good probability that you're not going to be a virgin when we're through."

For some reason, that makes her laugh.

Of all things, she _laughs_.

I raise an eyebrow, and cock my head to the side, utterly confused.

She smiles, and it's an honest-to-god genuine smile. "Who says I'm a virgin _now_?"

Well. That's a surprise.

And then, before I can respond, she's managed to get my bra undone and I'm shoved back onto the bed with her lips pressed against mine and a hand palming my left breast. Her thumb brushes against my nipple, and I can't help but moan into her mouth as she tugs on it gently. Her other hand is traveling down my torso and the muscles in my stomach won't stop jumping and then her hand stops when it reaches the button of my jeans.

It takes a moment of fumbling around, but she manages to unbutton them, and all it takes is the zipper being unzipped and a bit of maneuvering for her to get them off of my legs, leaving me clad only in my panties. Thank god I chose a cute pair this morning.

Her hand runs over the hem of the underwear, moving up and over that ohsofucking sensitive area of my body, and if I wasn't already so turned on, that definitely would have gotten me going. As it is, my hips are bucking in response and I know that if she keeps doing that I'm not going to last very long.

But it was too fast. And there was absolutely no way that I was letting her go first. Jade West does NOT play the submissive role.

And so, without warning her, I hook my legs around her back and flip over so that she's staring up at me and I'm staring down at her with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face.

"So. Who exactly did you lose your virginity to, Vega?"

She glares at me. "None of your business."

“You're a feisty one, you know that? I think I just might have to tickle you,” I say, and her eyes widen.

"You wouldn't."

I let my hands rest on her ribs and cock an eyebrow before my fingers start tickling her sides. She squirms underneath me, involuntary giggles pouring out of her mouth. "Okay! Stop, stop!"

I stop and let her catch her breath. "So? Anyone I know?” I pause, pretending to be deep in thought. “Oh my god, was it that guy that you and Cat both dated? You know, the one you doused in hot cheese?”

She rolls her eyes before glaring at me. There isn't any anger in her gaze though. "No, it wasn't Danny. If you really must know, it was Ryder. Ryder Daniels."

I laugh, absolutely unsurprised. "That asshole? He actually managed to get in your pants?”

She continues to glare at me, her bottom lip jutting out in the barest hint of a pout. "Yes, and if you don't mind, I'd rather be getting screwed by you right now than think about him."

"Up front. I like that."

"Oh, shut up and get going, would you?" Her gaze drops, making a slow and exaggerated journey up the length of my body before her eyes come back up to meet mine and I can't stop the shiver that runs up my spine as I see how dark they've become. “I think I'm wearing too much clothing,” she says, her voice just barely above a whisper, and my mouth turns to cotton.

“Guess we'll just have to fix that, then.”

She sits up just enough so that I can reach around her back to unclasp her bra, and in another moment, it has joined the growing pile of clothing at the foot of the bed. Another moment, and her jeans follow.

My lips start at hers' but it doesn't take long before they move down, peppering a path from her jaw down to her collarbone. All the while, my left hand is cupped around her breast while my right is tracing up her thigh and all I can think about is the fact that I can feel her heart fluttering wildly underneath my lips as I suck gently on her pulse point. And then I'm moving further down, my tongue darting out to taste the skin at the top of her breast before I let it run ever so tenderly over her nipple. She moans, arching up into me, and I can feel her fingernails pressing into my back.

I allow my hand to brush over the cloth of her panties, and I can feel how wet she is through the fabric. It causes another shiver to run through me, and as her hips buck up towards me again, I hook my fingers underneath them so I can pull them off of her body.

Before I do anything else, though, I stop what I am doing, and pull my head away from her so I can actually _look_ at her.

There are plenty of beautiful things in this world. Sunsets, waterfalls, the screams of blonde bimbos as they run away from a psycho killer, but there is nothing that even compares to the beauty that is Tori Vega in this moment, right now.

I can't help but gawk.

She seems concerned, because she's frowning when she looks up at me. "Jade? Is something wrong?"

I shake my head and smile. "No. Nothing's wrong. You're just so breathtakingly beautiful.”

She blushes, a faint crimson spreading across her cheeks. “You're one to talk. Have you _seen_ yourself?”

“So you _do_ think I'm pretty,” I joke, and she laughs before leaning up to kiss me.

“You're the most stunning person I think I've ever seen,” she says, her lips just barely touching mine. And then she's kissing me again, tasting me again, before I'm pulling back and looking down at her.

She raises an eyebrow, and I can feel her grip on my back loosening so I quickly try to find the words.

“Just…uh…last chance to back out now?" I cough, and force my eyes to look away from hers'. "You know, if you want to."

There's a moment of silence before she responds. "I don't. I want you to keep going.” A pause. “Please."

Something in her voice causes me to look back at her, and I see something in her gaze that I have never seen in her eyes before. There's lust, yes, but there's also something else behind the blown pupils and almost-black irises. Something that I used to see in Beck's eyes when he thought I wasn't looking.

I think it might be love.

And it scares me, but I force myself to smile again before she catches my hesitation. “Okay.”

Her smile grows, and I can hear the echo of my heart beating in my ears and I'm about to lean down to kiss her again because what else can I really do when I realize that my hair is still hanging loose around my face, and I know myself enough to know that it's going to drive me absolutely insane, so I sit back again. “Do you have a hairtie around here somewhere?” I ask, and she groans in obvious frustration.

“Has anyone ever told you that you're high maintenance?” she says, but I can tell from the glint in her eye that she's joking. She lets go of the grip she had around my back, and holds out her left wrist to me, shaking it exaggeratedly to point out the thin purple hairtie that's on it.

I grab her wrist gently and use my other hand to pluck the hairtie off of it. “That's my girl! Always thinking ahead.” I let go of her arm and begin to gather my hair up into a loose ponytail, purposefully arching my back just a little more than necessary because I know that it'll draw her attention to my chest. I can hear her take a sharp intake of breath and then there are hands on my ribs that are quickly traveling upwards and I can't help but shiver when she begins kneading both of my breasts.

“Find something you like?” I joke as I finish tying my hair back.

“You were taking too long, I needed to occupy myself _somehow_ ,” she replies, tweaking my nipple between her thumb and index finger. A surge of heat swells between my legs and I feel my knees begin to buckle, but I catch myself before I can fall.

“You're insatiable,” I mutter before leaning down to kiss her, nipping her bottom lip gently and soothing it with my tongue. Her hands fall away from my breasts when my lips move down her neck, sucking at hollow of her throat just hard enough for me to leave a mark. I know she'll yell at me for it later when she realizes, but right now all she does is let her head fall back so that even more of her neck is exposed for me.

I don't linger, though. Instead, I let my teeth graze the top of her breast while my right hand settles on her thigh. The muscle of her leg twitches underneath my palm as my hand begins to move upwards, stopping just short of her center. Her legs part even further, allowing me better access to her, but I don't touch her. Not yet.

My lips close around her nipple, and I barely even get the chance to swirl my tongue around it before her left hand is on top of my right and trying to force it upwards.

“You're _killing_ me,” she says, but I don't let her move my hand.

“And _you're_ impatient.” I swirl my tongue around her nipple, and I can feel the fingernails of her other hand digging into my shoulder.

“Jade, I swear to god, if you don't touch me I'm going to...”

The words die on her lips as I finally let my hand move up, fingers parting through her folds easily. I bite my lip so that I don't moan, because she is so incredibly wet and _I_ made her that way and it feels so foreign and yet so familiar and-

“Oh,” she breathes, and I take the opportunity to let my thumb circle around her clit, being careful not to touch it directly. Her hips buck towards me, urging me to press down, but instead I'm leaning up to kiss her again while my fingers trail through her lazily.

I pull away from her mouth after a few moments, lips moving so that they're hovering by the shell of her ear. “Tell me what you want, Tori.”

I can feel her tremble, though I'm not sure if it's caused by my words or the fact that my thumb is currently brushing against her clit. “ _You_ ,” she eventually replies, and there's desperation in her voice that causes my own barely-concealed arousal to spike.

“You already have me,” I whisper, applying just the slightest increase of pressure to my touch. She whimpers, and I move my hand down, fingers dancing near her entrance but stopping just short.

“Jade, _please_.”

And then I'm inside of her, one finger at first but realizing quickly that two would be better. Her hips rise to meet my motions, and it pulls me deeper, faster, and I can feel her nails digging into the skin of my back and it feels _good_.

“Fuck,” she moans, and I press my lips to the underside of her jaw as I curl my fingers inside of her, eager to make her swear again. And she does, over and over.

I can feel her getting closer, can feel her squeeze around me, but she isn't looking at me. I need her to look at me.

“Tori?” I say, slowing my pace just slightly. It's enough to make her open her eyes, her gaze questioning. I make sure that she's looking at me when I curl my fingers again, my thumb rubbing against her clit in time with my thrusts, not bothering to be gentle anymore. But I can see the struggle in her eyes, can hear it in her gasps, can feel it in the way her fingers dig in even harder. “Tori, you can let go.”

Her eyes remain locked with mine as her body stiffens underneath me, and then my name is tumbling from her lips and she's crashing over the edge around me and it's all I can do not to follow her.

I never knew my name could sound like music until right now.

“Jade?” she says again after I remove myself from her and fall down in the space next to where she lays.

“Yeah?” I reply, and then she's on top of me, her knees gripping my thighs.

She leans down, her hair brushing against my skin as her lips tease my ear. “I really like it when you call me Tori.”

* * *

I make sure to say her name as often as I can in between her thrusts, and when her tongue darts out against my clit, it's her name that I scream.

* * *

And now, as she lies in my arms and the sweat cools on our skin, I can't help but wonder if what I saw in her eyes earlier was real.

And, if it is…do I feel the same?


	8. Chapter 8

I'm not really so big on the touchy-feely crap that a lot of girls seem to be into. Usually, I'm okay with just having a screw and then doing my own thing, far away from any arms that may want to still cling to my body.

But it's really hard to be against cuddling when the one that I'm cuddling with is Tori.

It's not even like it's full-on cuddles, either. She's not clinging to me or anything. She's just letting me hold her in my arms, and if I tire of that, just lies next to me as close as possible without full on contact.

It's nice, really.

But at the same time, I'm growing restless, and I know she can sense it, because she's sat up and is looking at me with those great big brown eyes, and she's holding the sheet so that it covers her breasts, and I can see the question forming on her lips but I don't want her to ask it but I let her anyway because I don't have an excuse to stop her.

"Are you alright?"

I tilt my head just the tiniest bit. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugs, her bare shoulders rising and falling. The sheet has slipped just a bit, revealing the sloping edges of her breasts. I think she did it on purpose. "You haven't said a thing since…." She shrugs again, her cheeks flushing the softest shade of pink. "Well, you know.”

"Since what, Vega? Since we fucked?" I grin as the pink turns into a bright red. "It is okay to say that, you know, because that is definitely what happened."

She frowns and pulls the sheet back up."I'd rather refer to it as making love, if you don't mind."

_Love._ There is that word, actually spoken instead of just bouncing around inside of my head. Yeah, I know, the context is different, but it still causes the grin to disappear from my face. I bring it back just as quickly so as to not make her worry, but she notices anyway and I can see the questioning look in her eye.

"Jade?" she begins, and I look away, not wanting to have to see the worry in her gaze. I feel her hand rest on my shoulder, fingers gently squeezing. "Jade, is something wrong?"

I force myself to smile wider, and shake my head. "Nope!" I pull the blanket off of me, and swing my legs off the side of the bed. I feel her hand slide off my shoulder as I stand up. "I just….really should be getting home, you know?" I bend over, picking up my clothes that she had thrown off the bed haphazardly.

I hear the bed creak as she follows me off of it. I'm still picking up my clothes when she walks behind me, so when I finally stand up and face her, I'm surprised to find her without the sheet wrapped around her torso. Nope, she's completely nude and it's only because I'm pretty sure my brain just caught on fire from the shock that she's able to wrap her arms around me and pull me to her.

"Whatever is wrong, and don't bother saying that there is nothing because I know you well enough," she whispers into my ear, breath tickling the skin, "just remember that I'm here." She moves her head so that she can kiss me gently, then looks up at me. "Okay?"

It's really hard to think straight when you've got Tori Vega pressed against you in such a manner, but I manage to nod my head. I try to ignore the surge of arousal that shoots through me and thank the stars that I'm not a guy because a boner would absolutely ruin the moment.

She smiles that sweet little smile of hers, and kisses me again before pulling away. "I'll see you later, West."

I just nod again before stumbling towards the door. I almost have my hand around the doorknob when I hear Tori giggle, and I'm reminded that I'm still just as naked as she is.

A quick pulling on of clothes, though, and I'm out the door.

* * *

When I pull into the driveway of my house, the first thing that I notice is that once again, my mother's car isn't in the driveway. The second thing I notice is that Beck's car is.

Well, fuck. As if I didn't have enough to deal with.

I can see him sitting in the driver's seat, staring up at the house. I'm not even sure that he heard me pull up next to him. If he did, he hasn't shown it.

I pull the key out of the ignition, and just sit here for a moment, contemplating what to do, and trying to figure out just why the hell he's here in the first place.

Fuck.

I open the door and step out of my car, slamming the door shut as hard as I possibly can. If he didn't realize I was here before, he sure has to now. But he still doesn't move an inch.

That makes me angry, and I know that deep down, that was the point all along. I can deal with anger. He can deal with anger. It's something we're used to.

I walk in front of his car and cross my arms. A staring contest ensues; I stare at him, while he stares at his steering wheel.

This is frustrating, so I finally just look away and walk to my front door, pulling the key out of my pocket. I take my time actually unlocking the door, waiting to hear the sound of a car door open. After a moment, I'm not disappointed, and he is walking up behind me.

I push the door open and step inside, not bothering to close it. He follows, and I can hear the door latch shut as he pushes it closed behind him.

I walk to the kitchen, and pull out the bottle of rum and a can of coke. I look back to Beck, and wave the bottle. "Want some?"

He shakes his head, so I finish mixing my drink and put away the bottle. I take a sip, trying to focus on the taste while I stare at him. If it makes him uncomfortable, he doesn't show it, and that makes me even angrier.

I take another sip before setting the glass down on the counter. "What do you want, Beck?"

He doesn't answer for a moment. I watch as he glances up at my face, then my body, and then finally back down to the floor. "You look like you just had sex, you know that?"

Well, if he was trying to make me angry, he definitely succeeded.

"Gee, I wonder why that may be,” I fire back. He doesn't react. Instead, he just stares down at the floor.

"Well, I wish I could say that I'm surprised that you two moved this fast," he begins, finally dragging his eyes away from the tiled floor. "But I know you well enough, don't I?"

"Oh, fuck you."

His eyes meet mine, and in them, I see nothing but black. "I think we both know who you'd rather be fucking, now, don't we, Jade?"

I'm about to start screaming at him when he raises his hands in front of him. "I'm sorry. I didn't come over here to….to attack you, or fight with you. That was uncalled for."

Surprise overtakes some of the anger, and I lean back against the counter. "If you didn't come over here to fight, than what _did_ you come over for?"

He pulls out his phone, and after a few swipes of his finger on the screen, he tosses it to me. I catch it and, after he gestures, glance down at it.

It's opened to the Slap, and just by looking at the top posts of the day, it's pretty easy to see what the trending topic of the day is: Tori and I. Not that I'm surprised or anything, but still, seeing post after post theorize on our relationship is an odd experience, and definitely not an enjoyable one. Especially since half of the posts I see as I scroll down use the phrases "soul-less harpy", "dyke", or "oh my god what was Tori thinking?". Fun stuff. I'll have to remember to tell Tori to stay away from the Slap for a few days.

"I didn't tell anyone."

I look up at Beck, surprised. Was this really what this was about? He thought that I would think that he had caused this? Okay, to be fair, if I didn't know what had happened, I probably would have suspected him, but that's irrelevant.

"I seriously didn't. I have no idea how any of this happened, but I didn't do it."

He looks like he'll keep rambling, so I hold up my hand and stop him. "Beck. I know."

He pauses, surprised. "What?"

"I know that it wasn't your fault." I toss the phone back to him. "It was Robbie and Cat. Don't worry about it."

"Robbie and Cat? How…" He shakes his head before I respond. "Never mind." He pockets his phone and looks at me again. "And you're just…okay with this? With the world knowing about you and Tori?"

I shrug, reaching for my glass and taking a sip. "I mean, no, but it is what it is. I can't make everyone forget about it, and it would have come out eventually, right? So, why stress about it?”

He looks dumbfounded. "But…you basically begged me not to tell anyone.”

I shoot him a look. “I didn't beg. And yeah, we didn't want anyone to know, but we can't do anything about it, so…yeah." I set the glass back down. "Why are you stressing about this? You didn't tell anyone, and I'm not your girlfriend anymore, so our business isn't your business. Why do you care so much?"

There's a moment of silence, an uncomfortable silence that I could cut through with a pair scissors. Then he speaks. "Because deep down, I still care about you."

I raise my eyebrows, crossing my arms as I lean back against the counter again. "Oh?"

"I was with you for years, Jade. Do you really think that all of that can go away with a few words and an apology? You can't tell me that you don't still care about me too, in some weird way of yours. It's just not possible to feel _nothing_."

He's right. Of course he's right, and I hate that about him. He never was afraid to speak the truth, even if it was going to hurt. Damn him. Damn this.

"Of course I still care about you." I whisper, the words burning as they leave my mouth. "But I care about Tori more."

The uncomfortable silence returns as I look down at the floor, not wanting to meet his gaze. I wasn't joking when I said that I hated touchy-feely crap. I'm just not so good at the whole talking about emotions thing, and after the day I've had, I really think that I might go insane if it continues.

"Do you love her?" he finally asks. I cringe at his words, but can't stop them from echoing in my mind.

_Love._

I don't answer.

I can hear him walk closer to me, his footsteps echoing through the empty house. Then his hands are on my shoulders, and I can't help but look up at him.

"Do you love her?" he repeats, and he's using that sensitive voice of his, the one that he only used to use in the middle of the night when he was lying next to me. But he's using it now, and the reality hits me that this will probably be the last time I'll ever hear him use it with me.

And then, the deeper realization that that doesn't really bother me at all.

Beck isn't mine anymore. I chose Tori. Tori, whose looks at me like I'm the sun. Tori, who, even after all the shit I put her through, just keeps coming back for more and more. Tori, who I had just _made love_ to not even three hours ago. Tori Vega, the girl who has a nice warm grip on my heart and refuses to let go.

"Do you?" he asks once more, and this time, I reply.

"Yes."

* * *

Beck left not too long after I admitted to him that I loved Tori. I can't really blame him. I doubt that anyone would want to hear all about how their ex is hopelessly in love with someone else. I know I sure wouldn't.

Still, there's a part of me that wishes that he had stayed, because now that I'm alone, I actually have to face the fact that I'm in love with Tori Vega.

Not that there's really that much to "face", per se. I'm in love. It's not like it's the first time I've ever loved someone else, so it's really not that complicated, right? It's as simple as anything else in the world.

Yeah. Right.

So why the fuck am I freaking out?

That's the question that I'm asking myself as I turn to the sink and pour the rest of my drink down the drain.A flick of my hand turns the faucet on, and I stick the glass underneath the spray, making sure to wash away every remnant of soda and liquor that there is. And then, after I set the glass down in the sink, I cup my hands underneath the water and splash it onto my face.

It's cold, and it's distracting, which is the point. Distractions. Anything to keep me from thinking about...

Yeah. That.

I turn away from the sink and grab a hand towel off of the rack to my left. I dry off my face and then throw it aside, not caring where it lands.

The smart thing to do would to be to go upstairs and go to bed. It's been a long day, and I know I should be tired, but I'm not. It feels like every nerve in my body is continuously firing, telling me to _go_ , and so, instead of doing the smart thing, I grab my keys off the counter and exit my house again. I hop in my car and start the engine, twisting the volume dial on the radio loud enough that the car's frame is shaking and I can't hear myself think.

Then I'm pulling out of my driveway and driving away without having any idea of where I'm going.

* * *

I end up at the school.

Honestly, that's not a big surprise. Where else would I really go? Beck's place isn't an option, Tori's place is exactly where I'm trying to not go to, and I'm not all that close to other people. Not enough to just randomly show up at their place in the middle of the night.

So the school was the only other option. It isn't the first time that I've just shown up here, and I'm not particularly concerned about being caught breaking in. I've had practice, and if they were going to call the cops on me every time I broke into the Black Box Theatre in the middle of the night, I'd probably be in prison.

But I'm not, so I suppose that no one really cares if I happen to just jimmy my way into the building. There aren't any windows in the Theatre, but there is a back door that is hardly ever used, so that's where I'll be entering tonight. I keep a crowbar in the trunk of my car just for this reason, and as I get it out now, it's weight in my hand reassures me.

The backdoor isn't very sturdy, and all it takes is a little prying and pushing before it opens up, allowing me access into the Black Box.

If there is one place in the entirety of Hollywood Arts that I had to choose as my favorite, the Black Box Theatre would most likely be that place. Most people just think of it as a stage for us to perform on, but they're wrong. They just don't understand it. It's a _fantastic_ place. The props and costumes hidden behind stage bring back so many memories of shows from the past. Everything sort of smells like sawdust. And when it's empty, like tonight, there's a feeling in the air that I've never been able to describe.

If I had to give it a name, I think I would say that it feels like home.

I walk inside, making sure to close the door behind me. I set the crowbar down before walking further.

There are plenty of seats in the theatre, of course, but those seats are for the audience. I'm a performer, so my place is out in the center of the stage.

I sit down, crossing my legs beneath me, and close my eyes. It's quiet enough that every sound I make, whether it be a cough or even just an intake of breath, is amplified. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's echoing through the emptiness too. It's comforting.

_Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzz._

The vibrations from my phone distract me, pulling me out of the comfortable silence. I open my eyes, and pull my phone out of my pocket.

I swipe the screen with my finger, opening the text that interrupted me.

_Are you sure you're okay?_

Vega. Figures.

The nice thing to do would be to respond, of course, but instead, I just set the phone down and close my eyes again.

A few minutes pass, and the phone vibrates again. I mutter a few obscenities, and pick it up again.

_I'm worried about you. You seemed really off when you left._

I put the phone back down. Yeah, I know, I'm an asshole, but I don't want to think about her, or about anything. I just want to relax, and I can't do that if I start texting her back about my _feelings_.

I don't even get to close my eyes before my phone starts ringing. Vega upgraded from just texting. Now she's calling me.

Great.

I know I can't just keep ignoring her, so I answer.

"What do you want, Vega?" The second that the words leave my lips, I realize just how irritated I sound, and immediately feel bad. The silence that precedes Vega's reply furthers that guilt.

_"I just…you seemed really off when you left, and I was worried about you."_ She finally responds. I can hear the confusion in her voice, and the guilt sitting on my chest grows heavier.

"Don't worry about me. I'm completely fine."

_"Then why didn't you text me back?"_

"I didn't get the texts." The lie comes effortlessly, like they always do.

There's silence for a moment. It worries me. Tori is rarely silent. She usually is able to fire back right away, or at least stammer for a bit before coming up with something tangible. But she's silent now.

"Tori?" I ask after a few moments, trying to prompt her into speaking. It works.

_"Why are you lying to me?"_ she asks, her voice barely above a whisper. I can hear a touch of pain in her question and it makes my heart ache. I can't keep doing this to her. I just can't.

"This….this isn't a conversation we should have on the phone."

_"Well, then, where do you propose we have it? Because we ARE going to have it, and have it as soon as possible.”_ She's angry. Of course she's angry, and she should be. I'm being an ass.

I close my eyes, and exhale slowly. It still comes out as a sigh. "Can you get to the school?"

_"…The school? Why the school?"_

"Because I'm already here, and it's closer than anywhere else."

_"Why…"_ I hear her sigh. _"Never mind. Yeah, I can get to the school. But you have to promise me that you'll actually be there when I arrive."_

Smart girl. She knows I don't break my promises, and I would be lying if I said that I hadn't been considering leaving. "Yeah, I promise."

_"Good. I'll see you soon, then."_

She hangs up before I can respond.

* * *

I thought that it would take at least half an hour for Tori to arrive, but after only ten minutes, I can hear a car pull into the parking lot. It takes her a few moments to figure out where exactly I am, but when she does, she wastes no time coming inside.

I expect her to say something to me, but she doesn't. Instead, she just walks up behind me and stands there without saying a word. I can feel her standing there, and it puts me on edge. I have to say something, anything, before it drives me crazy.

"How'd you get here? I thought you didn't have a license. Or a car."

"I don't." Her voice is hard, tinged with anger. "I borrowed Trina's.”

"You broke the law to get here?"

"It was important. Besides, you literally broke into the school, so it's not like I'm the only one.” She circles around so that she can look down at me. Her arms are crossed, and there's a look in her eyes that kind of scares me. "Now spill. What the hell is going on, Jade? Why are you being so…."

"So what?" I prompt, watching her reaction carefully.

"So difficult!" she exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. "I just don't get why you're being so freaking difficult!"

"Me not answering texts translates into being difficult?" I shake my head, trying to keep from getting angry. "Really, Vega?"

"Yes, really!" she glares down at me, her frustration shining in her gaze. "I just don't get it! Why wouldn't you answer your texts? I know you got them, you have your damn read receipts on!"

Hmm. Well, she's got me there.

I look at her for a moment, then uncross my legs and stand up so that I'm facing her. "Does it really matter?"

She steps closer to me, arms still crossed tight across her chest. She has to tip her head back a bit so that she can meet my gaze, and she does so with her chin jutting out defiantly. "You know that it does."

"I think you're making too big of a deal out of this, Vega. It was just a text message."

"It wasn't just a text message! I was worried about you, and you ignored me!"

Something's wrong. Tori doesn't get angry like this, not over something this stupid. And her eyes look damp, like she's ready to cry. Shit.

I decide that I've argued with her enough. It's just not worth it, because in the end, I know that I was a jerk, and she's right. There are more important things than seeing how far I can push her.

She looks like she's about to say something else, so I put my hand up, cutting her off. She stops and stares at me in bewilderment. I take that moment to lean down and press a soft kiss to her lips. Her only reaction, though, is to lower her arms to her side, and so I pull away and try not to take it personally.

"I'm sorry. I was an ass, and I should have answered your texts. I hope that you can forgive me." The words feel strange coming out of my mouth, and I realize that I don't know if I've ever asked for forgiveness before. Hell, I'm not sure I've ever _wanted_ it before.

Did you know that it's possible for someone to look incredibly sexy when they're dumbfounded? Because Tori is pulling it off really well. Then again, she could make anything look attractive, I guess. Anyway- there she is, staring at me with her mouth open and her eyes wide, like she can't think of anything to say but still has a million and a half questions at the same time.

"What?" she finally asks.

"I said that I'm sorry." I cock my head to the side, a small smile forming on my lips. "Is that so hard to comprehend?"

"Coming from you? Yes."

I press a hand to my chest and wince. “Damn, Vega. That hurts.”

“Am I wrong?” She waits for me to shake my head before she glances down at the floor. “I still appreciate it, though.”

I take her hands in mine and hope that she doesn't pull away. "Tori, what's wrong? It's not like you to get so upset over something like this.” I pause. “Well, not genuinely upset, I guess."

"I…" she pauses, and looks up at me. There are tears in her eyes, tears that haven't fallen, but look as if they are about to. "I'm scared.”

"Scared? Why are you scared?" I ask, pulling her close to me before she can answer.

There's a sob against my shoulder, and I can feel her a tremble course down her spine. "Because...because I don't know what's going to happen! I don't know if our friends are going to treat us differently, I don't know if they're even going to _like_ us anymore, and I just…I don't know! What if they all hate us, what if…"

I hug her tighter before gently lowering us so that we're lying on the floor. "Tori, baby, breathe. You're going to start hyperventilating.”

"But what if they…"

I shake my head, stroking her hair gently. "Breathe. Deep breaths, come on, just deep breaths. In and out, just like I'm doing, okay?” I inhale deeply before exhaling. “Breathe with me, Tor.”

She finally listens, her chest rising and falling in turn with mine. Her breaths are shallower than the ones I'm taking, but I can tell that it's working because her back isn't shaking with the force that it had been and her eyes don't seem to be quite as damp.

"Are you listening to me?" I whisper in her ear, and she nods. I stop stroking her hair so that I can use that hand to gently wipe the tears off of her cheek. "Good. Tori Vega, you are my girlfriend, and not only that, you are the best person that I know. You're so incredibly smart and funny and kind…you are so many things that I can't even describe because it would take me years to list them all. No one is capable of hating you, and they wouldn't anyway. We live in one of the most open-minded parts of the country, remember? And even if not everyone approves of our relationship, what does it matter? Fuck them! It's none of their business in the first place." I press my lips to her forehead softly before continuing. "And our friends? Do you really think that they would ever hate us for being together? They aren't that cruel, babe, and you know that. If anything, Cat will probably throw us a coming-out party or something."

"But what about Beck?" she whispers, almost too soft for me to hear. I pause and think back to my interaction with him earlier.

"Beck doesn't hate us. He still cares about us."

"How do you know?"

I breathe in slowly, exhaling before I continue. "Because he came over earlier. He saw the stuff on the Slap and wanted to make sure we knew it wasn't his fault."

Her eyebrows rise, and I can see the confusion in her eyes again. "What stuff on the Slap?"

_Oops._

"Just gossip, don't worry about it." I can see the worry set in again, so I try to change topics as quickly as possible. "Anyway, he made it clear that he doesn't hate us. He just…wants us to be happy, I think. Don't worry about him, or the rest of our friends, okay? Just focus on me and you. Focus on us."

"Okay…" she sighs, and I watch as her eyes close. "I wish I could be like you, you know? You don't get scared. I bet that's nice."

I can't help but laugh, pulling her closer to me. She opens her eyes, obviously surprised by my reaction.

"Man, I wish that were true,” I say, and her mouth opens and I can see the question forming so I decide to beat her to it. "You're wrong about me not getting scared. I _am_ scared, Tor. Just not for the same reason that you are.”

"Why are you scared, then?” she asks, trepidation shining in her careful gaze.

_Well. This is it. The moment of reckoning. No going back now._

"I'm scared..." I pause, then shake my head. "Scratch that. I'm _petrified_ because I realized earlier today that I am deeply and hopelessly in love with you."

She stares at me, letting my words hang in the air between us for a long moment before the look in her eyes changes and her lips twitch up as a gigantic smile spreads across her face. "You….you _love me_?"

I wince. "Geez, Vega, must you make it sound so sappy?"

"You _looooove_ me!" she giggles. "Jade West _loves_ me!"

I roll my eyes, ignoring the pounding in my chest. "Are you done yet?"

"Nope." She leans over, pecking me on the lips. "Now I'm done."

"Okay, good, because I can't handle all of this sappy crap." I sigh, propping my head up with my elbow. "I do love you though, which is so weird and freaky because _god_ when did that even happen, and...”

"Jade." Tori interrupts, catching me off guard. I stop talking and look at her, eyebrows raised.

She smiles again, and takes my hand in one of hers. "I love you too."

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of us say much after that, because really, what more is there to say?

We're in love.

And that's all that matters.


	9. Chapter 9

We both knew that Monday morning was going to be difficult, but I don't think either of us knew just _how_ hard it really was going to be. We expected a few taunts, a few slurs thrown at us from across the parking lot, maybe, but nothing more than that.

I think that's why seeing the graffiti on my locker is such a shock.

Walking into the school is a trip unto itself, with our hands clasped between us, trying to ignore the whispers that surround us from all sides. People stare at us from every angle, and as hard as I try, I can hear them talk. I can hear their conversations, and none of them are particularly kind, and Tori can hear them, too, though her only reaction is her hand tightening around mine.

The gossiping we had expected. But walking up to my locker and seeing the words _Lesbian Whore_ spray-painted in a Pepto-Bismol pink on the metal is another story.

I'm not sure who is more upset, me or Tori. My reaction is rage. Hers' is horror.

"Who….who did this?" she asks me, her words barely above a whisper. I hear the chatter around us stop as everyone waits to see what we will do. For some reason, this angers me even more.

"I don't know, babe, but I'm planning on finding out," I reply, spitting the words through gritted teeth. "And when I do, I'm going to take my scissors and lodge them straight up their..."

_"Who did this?"_

The voice cuts me off before I can detail the horrible evisceration I plan to inflict on the culprit. It's Beck's voice, but it is hard and angry, and something that most of the student body hasn't heard from him before. It's scary, even.

He walks up behind us, staring at my locker for a moment before turning to face the crowd. "I said, _who did this?"_

No one speaks up.

Tori's hand is squeezing mine so tight, too tight. I glance at her, and see that her face has paled into a ghostly white. I haven't seen her so scared and upset in a long time. I have to do anything I can to make this stop; make the crowd leave and defuse the situation so Tori can breathe again- and so I don't end up making the situation worse by threatening everyone around us with the scissors that I so desperately want to pull from my waistband.

"Beck, just….it's fine, okay?" I whisper, moving a bit closer to him so he can hear. "We'll find out who it is later. Right now, can you just help get rid of all these people?"

He turns his head just the slightest bit, his eyes meeting mine. For a second, all I see in them is a whirlpool of rage, and for the second time in recent memory, I'm stepping back because it scares me. But then it fades away into soft understanding once he looks past me and sees Tori. He nods and turns back to the crowd. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, a different voice echoes throughout the hallway.

"Everyone get to class! Come on, the bell has rung already, get out of here!" It's Lane, and he doesn't look happy. Quite the opposite, really. But I'm fairly certain that his irritation comes from the fact that everyone is late, not because he knows the reason behind the congregation of students that have surrounded us.

A few students trickle away, but the bulk of onlookers remain, eager to catch a glimpse of Lane's reaction to the graffiti.

Lane finally pushes his way through the throng of people, stumbling up next to the three of us. He looks pointedly at me. "What is the meaning of this, West? Are you disrupting my school again?"

I feel Tori shift, her hand dropping out of mine. I glance over at her to see the rage in her expression, and I wait for her to catch my eye before I shake my head. No need for her to do something stupid just because Lane is so unobservant. I'm used to it, anyway.

I look back at Lane, and step aside from my locker so that he can see the message scrawled across it.

When Tori and I accidentally destroyed Festus' car, Lane had been the angriest I had ever seen him. But that pales to the anger that I see on his face now as he observes my locker. His eyes trace over the words more than once, and I watch as his jaw sets. For a moment, I'm afraid that he's going to make an even bigger scene than Beck did. But then he turns back to the crowd, his body angling so that he effectively shields us from their gaze, and I realize that maybe I should trust him more.

"Everyone…leave. Now. Get to class." His voice is calm and collected, and I can see the look of surprise on the faces of many in the audience. "If you get there in the next minute, you won't be counted as being late."

That's enough for the rest of the crowd to dissipate, albeit slower than any of us would have liked. No one says a word until we're sure that they're all gone, but Tori's hand has found mine again and I squeeze it gently in an attempt to reassure her. It takes a moment, but she squeezes back before letting her hand drop back down to her side.

Once the hall is empty, Lane turns back to us.

"Anyone want to explain any of this?" he asks. Again, he looks at me, expecting me to answer, but before I get the chance to, Tori jumps in.

"We didn't do this, Lane."

Lane nods. "I kind of figured that. People don't just vandalize their own lockers.” His brow furrowed. “Well, usually. Anyway, I'm more interested in who actually did. But, knowing what's going on would be helpful. It's always easier to reach out to my students when I know what's going on in their lives." He gestures to my locker. "And I think that something is obviously going on here."

"Jade and I broke up," Beck begins. His eyes dart towards my face to see how I react, but I don't.

"I already know that. Everyone knows that." Lane says. He walks closer to my locker, rubbing the paint with his thumb. A smudge of it comes off onto his skin, and he looks at it thoughtfully. "But there's more to it than that, isn't there?"

No one speaks for a few moments, until Tori replies. "She left Beck for me."

"Huh." Lane turns to us, but seems to be looking past us instead of at us. "Guess I owe Sikowitz ten bucks, then."

"What?" I ask, but he just shakes his head.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Anyway, so you two are a couple now, then?" He waits for us to nod. "Okay then. So, who painted the locker?"

"We don't know. That's what I was trying to figure out," Beck answers, and the edge in his voice betrays how angry he still is.

"Well, we'll find out, okay? Just don't do anything stupid in the meantime." He takes a moment to look at me again. I roll my eyes, and stare back at him. "We wouldn't want you to get in trouble or anything."

"Don't worry, Lane. We won't do anything that would get us in trouble,” Tori says, and I feel her hand enclosing mine again.

Lane nods, looking at the graffiti again. "As your counselor, I'm supposed to ask how you this makes you _feel._ " He pauses, looking back at the three of us. "As your friend, I'm asking if you're all okay."

"I'm fine. Or at least, I will be once we find whoever did this." Beck replies. "Jade?"

"I'm pissed, but I'll be okay." I respond, looking at Tori. "Vega?"

She nods, squeezing my hand. "I'm okay."

"Well, then, if any of you need anything, you know where my office is. And we'll get this off your locker as soon as possible, Jade." He sighs, scratching the back of his head. "Are you all right to go back to class?"

We all nod in unison.

"Good." He begins to walk away, but then pauses a few feet away from the stairs. "If you happen to change your mind, your teachers will surely understand."

With that, he leaves without looking back.

"Did he basically give us permission to skip class?" I ask after a moment, wanting to break the silence that his absence left behind.

"Seems that way," Beck answers, leaning against the lockers next to mine. "I don't know about you two, but I don't think I'll be going. At least, not to first period."

"We're not,” Tori replies. "I don't feel like dealing with those idiots right now. We'll go to Sikowitz's class, but that's only because our project is due and I don't feel like failing."

"You're not going to ask me if _I_ want to go to class?" I joke, nudging her gently with my elbow. She just shakes her head.

There's another awkward moment of silence, where the three of us sort of just look down at our shoes so we don't have to look at each other. It hits me that this is the first time that we've all been together since Tori and I hooked up. This realization serves no purpose other than to just make me even more uncomfortable.

Tori finally breaks the silence, and I think I'm grateful for it, because it means that I don't have to. "Are we alright?"

I'm about to respond, but then I realize that the question wasn't meant for me. She's looking at Beck, who doesn't seem to really want to look at her, but does anyway.

"I think so." He straightens up a bit, shifting so he's standing more than he's leaning. "I won't lie and say that I'm not still a little confused by the whole thing, but I think I'll manage."

"Good." She lets go of my hand and walks over to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. "Because I've really missed you."

He catches my eye and nods at me before hugging her back. "I've missed you too."

Tori's voice comes out muffled, but her words are clear anyway. "Jade! Get over here and make this a proper group hug!"

Beck nods at me again before I can even protest, opening an arm to allow me room. I consider saying no, but then Tori looks at me with those huge puppy dog eyes, and I can't refuse.

I walk over to the two of them, wrapping my arms around their backs before finding myself enveloped between my two best friends.

* * *

Walking into Sikowitz's class is awkward, to say the least, but at the same time, it feels less awkward than the majority of the day's events. Not that the rest of the morning was _that_ awkward. We just talked, mostly. About life, about whatever tv shows were on the night before, about our assignments. It was almost _normal_ , and even though I caught glimpses of the sadness that gleamed in Beck's eyes every now and then when he thought I wasn't looking- when Tori would lean against me a little more, or when her hand would rest against my leg like it belonged there- he never said a word. And I know that he isn't going to. It's not easy, but I think it's acceptance, and that's all I can ask for.

We enter together, the three of us. Beck is on my left, Tori on my right. Every eye in the room is on us as we walk through the door, every breath held as we stand there, waiting for someone to make a stupid-ass comment.

André is the first to break the ice.

"Hey Jade! I gotta say, I really thought you would end up with someone tall, dark, and handsome, not tall, dark, and female!"

There's a collective intake of breath around the room as everyone waits to see what my reaction will be. Even Sikowitz stops what he's doing to watch, sitting down on the platform with his coconut in his hand and his eyes open wide.

I cock my head, looking straight at André. I try my best to look angry, and it's almost too easy. "Well, Harris," I begin. "You know what I think?" I pause, letting the moment sink in before replacing the scowl with a smirk. "I think that tall, dark, and handsome pales in comparison to that sweet, sweet Latina ass."

It's quiet for only a second before Tori starts laughing next to me, with Beck joining a moment later. It takes a moment for everyone else to join in, because I'm pretty sure that they still think that I'm going to end up murdering them all, but once they do, the room echoes with laughter.

As they laugh, Tori and I make our way over to where André sits, sitting down in the seats behind him. I lean over and punch him on the shoulder. "You're such an ass, you know that, Harris?"

He nods, grinning from ear to ear. "I know. But, hey, it diffused the tension, right?" He turns around fully, looking at Tori and I. "How you girls doing?"

"We're fine," Tori answers before I get a chance to. "Just getting used to everything, you know?"

"Aren't we all?" André nods towards Beck, who is being mobbed by the rest of the class. "How's tall, dark, and handsome over there?"

"Why don't you ask him?" I shake my head as I watch a bunch of girls attempt to flirt with him. "He doesn't look too distressed over it."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

The three of us look up to see Sikowitz standing over us. He looks extremely amused as he sips from his coconut, obviously waiting for a response.

"Not at all." I reply, throwing an arm around Tori's shoulders. "If anyone should be jealous, it should be literally everyone else in this room because I managed to land this lovely lady and they didn't."

Sikowitz chuckles, shaking his head. "Oh Jade. Always so blunt."

"Hey, Lane said something about him owing you ten bucks. What's up with that?" Tori asks, leaning into me.

His cheeks turn red, and he nervously sips from his coconut again. "Oh, uh…nothing!" He turns to the class. "Everyone! Take your seats! This is a classroom, not a circus!" He walks away quickly, obviously eager to get away from Tori and I.

Tori looks at me, eyebrows raised. I just roll my eyes and shrug.

Sikowitz's voice rings out again. "It's time to present your projects! Someone want to volunteer?" He waits a moment. "Please?"

"We'll go," Tori says. Sikowitz pales, but nods. Tori stands, and I follow.

We make our way to the stage. Tori pulls down the projection screen as I upload our video to Sikowitz's computer. Once we're done, we stand together on the platform, looking out into the audience.

"First off, we have to thank Robbie Shapiro for filming this for us." Tori begins. I see Robbie sink into his seat as everyone looks at him, though I'm not sure if it's because of the sudden attention or because he's having flashbacks of Tori slapping him upside the head. Most likely, it's a combination of both. Cat, who sits next to him, leans over and whispers something in his ear. He straightens, and nervously smiles. Cat pats his leg, then looks up at me and winks. I can't help but grin, even though I'm not exactly thrilled with her, either.

Tori nudges me, and I'm brought back to what we're supposed to be doing. "Oh, uhm...so, this is our short film! I'm sure you'll all enjoy it." I glare into the crowd, trying to appear even remotely menacing. It's hard to do so, though, when the embodiment of human sunshine is standing next to you. “I better hear clapping when it's over.”

I can see Tori roll her eyes, but she doesn't comment. Instead, she grabs my wrist and leads us back to our seats as Sikowitz turns the film on. Someone turns the lights off, so all that's left is the glow of the screen.

_"Tell me where you hid the bodies, and you can get a sentence that won't result in your execution."_

I wince as the sound of my own voice comes out of the speakers. I hate watching myself, so I turn away. Tori notices, and rests a hand on my thigh, trying to reassure me. I glance up at her and smile.

We look at each other for a few more moments, ignoring the film, only looking away when Tori's voice rings through the room, tinged with sarcasm and ice. _"Well, a body would help."_

"You know, you really are a great little murderer,” I whisper, low enough so only she can hear.

She grins, and I'm reminded once again just why I love her so much. "And you're such a great little detective.” She leans in a little closer, her lips close to my ear. “Did I ever mention that I get really turned on by that whole “good cop, bad cop” shtick?”

"You are such a little minx," I whisper back, leaning in to kiss her. "And I'll make sure to remember that."

She smiles against my lips, and kisses me back.

"Hey, uh...guys?..."

I feel someone nudging my side, and so I pull away, irritated. "What?"

"Uhm….your movie is over." André whispers, his face red. "And, well…"

"Are you two done making out now?" Sikowitz asks from the front of the room. "Because, if you're not, I'm sure we would be able to find you a nice warm detention room to continue in."

Tori blushes, but I just grin. Sikowitz shakes his head, and turns off the projector.

"Very nice film, ladies. You should be very proud." He looks around the room. "Who's next?"

I don't know who goes next, and I don't really care. All I care about is Tori, and the fact that she's holding my hand again as she leans into me, and nothing else really matters.

* * *

It proves to be a long fucking day.

The paint is eventually scraped off my locker by the fucker who put it up there to begin with. I don't know their name, and as much as I would've liked to, I wasn't allowed to disembowel them. Lane promised that their punishment would be enough. I disagree, but there are more important matters than dealing with punks like that.

After school, our group hangs out at Karaoke Dokie, just like we used to. I won't lie and say that it isn't awkward at points, because it totally is. Beck flirts with every girl in sight, André keeps watching to see if Tori and I will make out, and Robbie and Cat keep trying to apologize to us. But it's still really nice to be with them all again. I know Tori is relieved, too. She really doesn't like conflict, and I know these past few weeks have been rough on her.

And now, as I drive her home, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had kept Sinjin as my partner all those weeks ago. Would Tori and I ever have fallen for each other? Would we have continued to be mortal enemies? Or would fate have worked its course anyway, pairing us together in some other way?

"You alright, Jade?" Tori asks, and I can tell she's worried.

I nod. "I'm fine, babe. Just thinking about things."

"What kind of things?"

"Us, mostly. Wondering what would have happened if I hadn't traded made Beck trade slips with me. Stuff like that."

"What slip?" There's obvious confusion in her voice, and I remember that I never told her how I had ended up being her partner in the first place.

"Well, you see…your name wasn't the name I picked out of Sikowitz's hat when we were getting assigned partners. I picked Sinjin, and for obvious reasons, didn't want to be his partner. So, I traded with Beck. Your name was the one he picked."

There's silence, and I'm afraid that I've said something wrong. But then she laughs, a sound so beautiful and welcoming, I can't help but sigh in relief.

"So, you mean to tell me that if it hadn't been for your hatred of Sinjin, we would never have made that film together? We wouldn't have ended up _being_ together?"

"Well, you know…fate and all that shit,” I reply, pulling into her driveway and shutting the car off. "Worked out in the end, right?"

She rolls her eyes and leans over. "You are such a gank, Jade West."

I grin, cupping her face in my palm as I press my lips against hers' gently, only lingering against them for a moment before pulling away. "Yeah…but I'm _your_ gank."

"And you better never forget it," she replies, before unbuckling my seat belt and pulling me into the backseat along with her.

* * *

I may have been drunk the first time that I thought about Tori in a “less than innocent” manner, but I'm stone cold sober now, and every single one of those thoughts still remain. And as long as I get my way, I'll be thinking them for a long, long time.

I can't get Tori Vega out of my head, but that's all right. I love her, and she loves me, and I've never been so sure of anything in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking around to see this story to the end!  
> I haven't quite figured out if I'm going to continue this universe or not, but either way, I'm definitely not done with Tori or Jade, so keep an eye out for me in the future!
> 
> Oh, and come say hi over on Tumblr! @darthbelle


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